Correction/Cows

Correction/Cows
Message de toverside posté le 26-10-2016 à 15:42:28 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je suis en première L et je dois écrire un texte en rapport avec une photographie (un sorte de poème),j'aurais aimé avoir vos avis sur les fautes d'orthographe s'il vous plait.
Si vous avez le temps et l'envie je serais ravie d'être corrigée étant donné mes nombreuses fautes d'orthographe,structure, etc.
Merci d'avance à ceux qui pourront me repondre,passez de bonnes vacances (si c'est le cas),bonne journée !

I give flowers to cows
I've never understood this fury towards all theses animals,
Maybe to small,maybe too dumb,reduced to the state of pounds,chopped,ribs.
They say that some treat them well,take care of them,
But I've never seen a cow with udders as big as Canada with her calf in a meadow,
All with their label "number 1435" which means that they will end up in a truck to get break legs,break brains,break.
Reduce to the state of future dead,probably already dead.
I really like animals,many cows,
They have this eyes who steal from your the heart,that you show that you're powerless to help them,
Powerless to delivered them.
Then,when I see a cow in a meadow i told them not to worry,that everything will be fine one day,
And i give her a flower.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 26-10-2016 16:19

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Réponse : Correction/Cows de bluestar, postée le 26-10-2016 à 16:52:24 (S | E)
Bonjour..
Erreurs en bleu

I give flowers to cows
I've never understood this fury towards all theses animals,
Maybe to small,maybe too dumb,reduced to the state of pounds,chopped,ribs.
They say that some treat them well,take care of them,
But I've never seen a cow with udders as big as Canada with her calf in a meadow,
All with their label "number 1435" which means that they will end up in a truck to get break legs (reformuler: nom, puis participe) ,break brains(idem),break.
Reduce (participe)to the state of future dead,probably already dead (bizarre!).
I really like animals,many cows,
They have this eyes who('who' seulement pour les personnes) steal from your the(ordre) heart,that you show that you're powerless to help them,
Powerless to delivered(l'infinitif ici) them.
Then,when I see a cow in a meadow i(majuscule) told(temps?) them
(forme singulière) not to worry,that everything will be fine one day,
And i (majuscule) give her a flower.

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Réponse : Correction/Cows de toverside, postée le 26-10-2016 à 18:36:56 (S | E)
Merci de la correction
si quelqu'un pouvait confirmer à présent mon texte.

I give flowers to cows
I've never understood this fury towards
animals,
Maybe too small,maybe too dumb,reduced to the state
of chopped,top ribs.
They say that some treat them well,take care of them,
But I've never seen a cow with udders as big as Canada
with her calf in a meadow,
All with their label "number 1435" which means that they
will end up in a truck to have broken legs,broken brains.
Reduced to the state of future dead,probably already
dead.
I really like animals,many cows,
They have these eyes which steal your
heart,that you
show that you're powerless to help them,
Powerless to deliver them.
Then,when I see a cow in a meadow I tell them not to
worry,that everything will be fine one day,
And I give it a flower.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 26-10-2016 21:22

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