Oral/My favourite actor
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Message de airport56 posté le 28-05-2016 à 18:48:45 (S | E | F)
Bonjour/Bonsoir,
J'ai un examen oral à passer cette semaine en anglais et je me demandais si quelqu'un pouvait m'aider à corriger mon texte s'il vous plaît.
Merci d'avance.
I introduce my favourite actor, Peter Dinklage.
First, he is American and he lives in America.
He’s 46 years old, he was born the Wednesday 11th June 1969.
He plays the dwarf Tyrion Lannister in the Game Of Thrones series.
His performance has received a lot of Awards.
Peter worked in a bar and a supermarket before being an actor.
He married Erica Schmidt in 2005 and they have a daughter together born in 2011, her name is Zelig.
His favourite sport is tennis and his favourite writer is JK Rowling.
Peter and her family live in a big villa with two floors near the sea.
There are 2 luxury cars in the front of the villa.
He likes eating vegetables (tomatoes, mushrooms, peppers, …) and fruits but he don’t like eating meat because he’s vegetarian.
He likes drinking cola and water.
He’s a short man with medium-length blonde hair and green eyes.
He has a moustache and a beard
On this picture, Peter’s wearing a suit, a white shirt with a tie and a pair of shoes.
He’s handsome.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 28-05-2016 22:33
Message de airport56 posté le 28-05-2016 à 18:48:45 (S | E | F)
Bonjour/Bonsoir,
J'ai un examen oral à passer cette semaine en anglais et je me demandais si quelqu'un pouvait m'aider à corriger mon texte s'il vous plaît.
Merci d'avance.
I introduce my favourite actor, Peter Dinklage.
First, he is American and he lives in America.
He’s 46 years old, he was born the Wednesday 11th June 1969.
He plays the dwarf Tyrion Lannister in the Game Of Thrones series.
His performance has received a lot of Awards.
Peter worked in a bar and a supermarket before being an actor.
He married Erica Schmidt in 2005 and they have a daughter together born in 2011, her name is Zelig.
His favourite sport is tennis and his favourite writer is JK Rowling.
Peter and her family live in a big villa with two floors near the sea.
There are 2 luxury cars in the front of the villa.
He likes eating vegetables (tomatoes, mushrooms, peppers, …) and fruits but he don’t like eating meat because he’s vegetarian.
He likes drinking cola and water.
He’s a short man with medium-length blonde hair and green eyes.
He has a moustache and a beard
On this picture, Peter’s wearing a suit, a white shirt with a tie and a pair of shoes.
He’s handsome.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 28-05-2016 22:33
Réponse: Oral/My favourite actor de laure95, postée le 29-05-2016 à 11:29:14 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- I (will) introduce my favourite actor, Peter Dinklage.
- he was born the (on) Wednesday 11th June 1969.
- His performance (he)has received a lot of Awards (for his performance).
- Peter and her (pas le bon possessif) family live in a big villa with two floors near the sea.
- He’s a short man with medium-length blonde (orthographe)hair and green eyes.
Réponse: Oral/My favourite actor de lemagemasque, postée le 29-05-2016 à 11:55:08 (S | E)
Hello!
Suite de la correction de Laure :
He plays (the) dwarf Tyrion Lannister in
He married Erica Schmidt in 2005 and they have a daughter (together) born in 2011. Her name is Zelig.
Peter and her
family live in a big villa with two floors, near the sea.There are 2 luxury cars in (the) front of the villa.
He likes eating vegetables (tomatoes, mushrooms, peppers, …) and fruits but he don’t
like eating meat because he’s vegetarian.He’s a short
(plutôt péjoratif : ~ court sur pattes) man with medium-length blonde ("blonde" est féminin ici ; c'est d'ailleurs un des seuls mots anglais qui prend un -e au féminin) hair and green eyes.On
this picture, Peter’s wearing a suit, a white shirt with a tie and a pair of shoes.Bonne journée !
Réponse: Oral/My favourite actor de violet91, postée le 29-05-2016 à 12:59:44 (S | E)
Hello airport54 , Suite aux interventions précédentes : il s'agit donc d'un oral qui visiblement est une présentation d'image , ou analyse iconographique . Il faut donc le stipuler en premier lieu .
Puis entamer un paragraphe suivi ( pas de rejet à la ligne )et regrouper d'abord toutes les informations principales ( le physique ) . Bon d'introduire les mots : premier plan , arrière -plan , à droite , à gauche ...
- ex : I am going to introduce my favourite actor to you with ( or thanks to = grâce à ) a colour photograph ( prise/ publiée dans tel ou tel magazine + date = in May 2016 .) préciser qu'il s'agit d'un acteur de cinéma ( a-t-il fait autre chose ?) . Sa nationalité ?
Après vérification ( sorry ) , il mesure 1,35m ( he is one point 35 ) : he was born a dwarf . Sa courte stature ( traduire ) et son talent lui ont permis une carrière de star .
- Il s'agit d'un homme célèbre donc tout ce qui se réfère à lui : pronoms , adj.possessifs seront des masculins . Le présent simple : ' s ' ou 'es' à la base verbale : comme vous avez mis 'likes ' vous aurez does / doesn't . Règle de base et dangereuse .
A moins d'être blond platine , cherchez l'autre adjectif pour 'blond ' en quatre lettres / des adj.. composés seraient les bienvenus ex : to be short dark - haired and blue-eyed ( changez de couleurs , bien sùr ; vous marquerez davantage de points ) .
Au lieu de parenthèses , utilisez ' vegetables ' + tels que = ?...
Il faut un article devant le mot 'vegetarian ' : attribut nominal . You must mean 'coca -cola ' .
Sa façon de jouer , ses talents d'acteur : his acting + sg / his performances + pl /
' On ' this picture est bel et bien correct .
Nouvel alinéa : pour conclure , il faudrait justifier votre choix de photo et surtout pourquoi vous aimez cet acteur .
Good luck . Have a nice Sunday !
Réponse: Oral/My favourite actor de lemagemasque, postée le 29-05-2016 à 13:17:10 (S | E)
' On ' this picture est correct .
Pas compris ??
Il n'y a pas de tâche de graisse sur la photo ou autres...
Réponse: Oral/My favourite actor de airport56, postée le 29-05-2016 à 15:48:55 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Merci pour toutes vos corrections, elle me sont très utiles.
Violet91, en fait ce n'est pas une présentation d'image, c'est simplement une présentation de l'acteur (Nationalité, Ce qu'il faisait avant, sa maison etc..)
L'image servira juste à décrire ce qu'il porte ce jour-là.
Mais je te remercie énormément pour ton aide.
Je vais essayer de publier le texte corrigé ce soir.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 30-05-2016 14:41
Réponse: Oral/My favourite actor de airport56, postée le 01-06-2016 à 14:52:37 (S | E)
Bonjour,
désolé pour le retard mais voici enfin le texte corrigé, merci aux personnes qui m'ont apporté leur aide.
I am going to introduce my favourite actor, Peter Dinklage.
First of all, he is American and he lives in America.
He’s 46 years old, he was born on Wednesday 11th June 1969.
He plays the dwarf Tyrion Lannister in Game Of Thrones series.
He has received a lot of Awards for his performance.
Peter worked in a bar and a supermarket before being an actor.
He married Erica Schmidt in 2005 and they have a daughter born in 2011, her name is Zelig.
Then, his favourite sport is tennis and his favourite writer is JK Rowling.
Peter and his family live in a big villa with two floors near the sea.
There are 2 luxury cars in the front of the villa.
He likes eating vegetables such as mushrooms, peppers, tomatoes and fruits but he doesn’t like eating meat because he’s a vegetarian.
He likes drinking apple juice and water.
Finally, he’s a little man with medium-length blond hair and green eyes.
He has a moustache and a beard
On this picture, Peter’s wearing a suit, a white shirt with a tie and a pair of shoes.
He’s very handsome.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 01-06-2016 16:23
Réponse: Oral/My favourite actor de lemagemasque, postée le 01-06-2016 à 16:34:29 (S | E)
Hello!
Nouvelle correction :
I am going to introduce my favourite actor, Peter Dinklage.
First of all (bien !), he is American (and he lives in America) (un peu redondant : où en Amérique ?).
He’s 46 years old, he was born on Wednesday (the) 11th (of) June 1969.
He plays
He has received a lot of Awards for his performance.
Peter worked (temps ; before = antériorité) in a bar and a supermarket before being an actor.
He married Erica Schmidt in 2005 and they have a daughter born in 2011, her name is Zelig.
Then (bof), his favourite sport is tennis and his favourite writer is JK Rowling.
Peter and his family live in a big villa with two floors, near the sea.
There are 2 luxury cars in
the villa.
He likes eating vegetables such as mushrooms, peppers, tomatoes, and fruits
(fruit est indénombrable, c'est-à-dire que l'on désigne ici les fruits en général, comme un tout) but he doesn’t like eating meat because he’s a vegetarian.He likes drinking apple juice and water.
Finally, he’s a little man with medium-length blond hair and green eyes.
He has a moustache and a beard
On
Lien internetthis picture, Peter’s wearing a suit, a white shirt with a tie and a pair of shoes.
He’s very handsome.
Bonne journée !
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