Oral/ Fiche communication

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Oral/ Fiche communication
Message de pctne posté le 17-05-2016 à 08:57:36 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Dans le cadre de mon oral, je dois réaliser la présentation d'une fiche de communication orale.
Pour préparer cette présentation, j'ai rédigé l'ébauche de ma présentation que voici :

"Now I am going to speak about my situation of communication. It's a situation I had observed during my work placement. The two protagonists were Mrs P and Mrs C. Mrs P was the customer and Mrs C the supplier. Mrs P received a client reminder to inform the company that it had an invoice unpaid. Ashtonished, Mrs P searched on its softxare if the bill was really unpaid. The software indicates the bill like paid. So, Mrs P decided to called the company to inform it. Mrs C answered on the phone and Mrs P explained her that she had received a client reminder but that the company have already pay. Mrs C wanted a proove of the payment and asked Mrs P to send her by mail a screen shot of the account state. Mrs P accepted and they hanged up. During the conversation, Mrs P needs to prove to Mrs C that the payment had been done. I had spotted two stakes during the conversation : an identity stake and a relationnal stake. An identity stake because Mrs P and Mrs C wanted to give a good image of her ; and an relationnal stake because they used ritual of a good communication like politenness rules, manners and presentation. Mrs C and Mrs P succeded to find a solution. Mrs P will sent aprint screen to prove the payment. Finally, the outcome of the situation was that Mrs P send a mail to Mrs C to prove the payment had been done. Then, Mrs Chaudier had answered to the mail of Mrs P to say her that everytig was ok. So, the problem was resolved"

Pourriez-vous me dire ce que vous en pensez et ce qui pourrait être à modifier s'il vous plait ?
Merci pour vos réponses.
Bonne journée à tous,
Cordialement,

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Modifié par lucile83 le 17-05-2016 09:02

Réponse: Oral/ Fiche communication de gerondif, postée le 17-05-2016 à 19:52:11 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
erreurs en bleu, correction en vert

"Now I am going to speak about my situation of communication. It's a situation I ~~had~~ observed during my work placement. The two protagonists were Mrs P and Mrs C. Mrs P was the customer and Mrs C the supplier. Mrs P received a client reminder to inform the company that it had an invoice unpaid(inversez). Astonished, Mrs P searched(c'est fouiller. looked) on its software to see if the bill was really unpaid. The software indicated the bill like as paid. So, Mrs P decided to called(infinitif) the company to inform it(ou them qui fait moins inhumain). Mrs C answered on the phone and Mrs P explained to her that she had received a client reminder but that the company had already pay(participe passé). Mrs C wanted a proove of the payment and asked Mrs P to send her by mail a screen shot of the account state. Mrs P accepted and they hanged (verbe irrégulier)up. During the conversation, Mrs P needs(prétérit) to prove to Mrs C that the payment had been done. I ~~had~~ spotted two stakes during the conversation : an identity stake and a relationnal stake. An identity stake because Mrs P and Mrs C wanted to give a good image of her(pronom pluriel réfléchi) ; and an relational stake because they used the ritual of a good communication like politeness rules, manners and presentation. Mrs C and Mrs P succeded(in + ing) to find a solution. Mrs P will sent a print screen to prove the payment. Finally, the outcome of the situation was that Mrs P send(prétérit) a mail to Mrs C to prove the payment had been done. Then, Mrs Chaudier ~~had~~ answered to the mail of Mrs P(cas possessif 's) to say tell her that everything was ok. So, the problem was resolved"

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