Correction/ rédaction
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je viens de remarquer...classmates (orthographe)Réponse: Correction/ rédaction de netm, postée le 25-10-2015 à 20:23:03 (S | E)
Seulement pour être sûr:
Being such an idiot, I forgave her, I gave her a second chance, she didn't wait to take advantage of IT and poison me again.
Le IT veut bien dire It (it ) non ?
Réponse: Correction/ rédaction de lucile83, postée le 25-10-2015 à 20:25:54 (S | E)
oui, it, pronom complément neutre.Réponse: Correction/ rédaction de gerondif, postée le 25-10-2015 à 21:15:05 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
difficile de dire qu'un texte est parfait ou qu'il n'y a plus de fautes. Nous corrigeons ce que vous présentez, ça ne veut pas dire que c'est parfait, certaines choses seraient mieux dites autrement . Au bout d'un moment, si on vous transforme tout, ce n'est plus votre texte mais le nôtre.
I would like to speak about a Monster who adopted a human appearance to deceive everyone. She looks like an angel for (on pourrait aussi mettre to)(on pourrait aussi dire: All the teachers consider her as an angel) the teachers but is a devil for the students who would like(pourquoi mettre "qui voudraient avoir de meilleures notes ? Ils n'y arrivent pas ? Elle est toujours la première ? Sinon, il faudrait mettre who try to get better marks, parce que, après tout,s'il n'arrivent pas à la dépasser, elle n'a aucune raison de leur en vouloir) to get better marks than she does.
Named " demagogue" by me (ne se dit guère en fait: on dirait I call her ... I nicknamed her.... de plus, demagogue ne convient pas, ce serait plutôt une hypocrite, une flatteuse, une enjôleuse) .Her real name is
She hypnotizes us, she watches us with(ben oui, les yeux sont faits pour ça, il faudrait peut-être dire: we fall victimsto... we can't resist her soft blue eyes..) her soft eyes,
When she paralyzes us, she eats you inside, she invents a false appearance.(vous commencez en us, vous finissez en you, il faudrait unifier)
She told me that I was an angel but told R I was a demon , she told me that R was a demon and she told him that he was an angel.
She films me in the street, then she swears that she is innocent even when we prove that she has lied, the Monster plays the role of a victim.(en fait elle prétend être victime plus qu'elle ne joue un rôle)
Being such an idiot, I forgave her, I gave her a second chance, she didn't wait to (on dirait plutôt: but she immediately took advantage of it) take advantage of IT and poison me again
Since that day I have told this to all my friends but they see (consider) me as an insane person.
Nobody believed me, she hid her game and said that I had lied.(elle déclara que j'avais menti, pour respecter la concordance des temps)
Of course one week later R and I(prénom) bitterly regretted their decision.They wished they had listened to me. She used them. This girl, who looks so nice, is very dangerous.
In class she is very soft but on Viber she insults me.
Donc, vous voyez, on peut toujours trouver des choses à refaire.
Réponse: Correction/ rédaction de netm, postée le 25-10-2015 à 22:37:10 (S | E)
I would like to speak about a Monster who adopted a human appearance to deceive everyone. She looks like an angel to the teachers but is a devil for the students who try to get better marks ( Justement je la dépasse donc je dois changer quelque chose ? J'ai mis votre phrase ) to get better marks than she does.
I call her hypocrite ! Her real name is
She hypnotizes us, we fall victims to her soft eyes.
When she paralyzes us, she eats us inside, she invents a false appearance.
She told me that I was an angel but told R I was a demon , she told me that R was a demon and she told him that he was an angel.
She films me in the street, then she swears that she is innocent even when we prove that she has lied, the Monster plays the role of a victim.(en fait elle prétend être victime plus qu'elle ne joue un rôle . D'accord donc je dois changer quoi ? )
Being such an idiot, I forgave her, I gave her a second chance, but she immediately took advantage of IT and poison me again
Since that day I have told this to all my friends but they see (considérer, Je n'ai pas compris ) me as an insane person.
Nobody believed me, she hid her game and said that I had lied.
Of course one week later R and I(prénom) bitterly regretted their decision.They wished they had listened to me. She used them. This girl, who looks so nice, is very dangerous.
In class she is very soft but on Viber she insults me.
Voilà j'ai vu votre message avant que je recopie au propre , je me suis affolé maintenant je n'ose plus écrire mon texte , j'attend votre ultime correction pour pouvoir écrire mon travail , merci !
-------------------
Modifié par netm le 25-10-2015 22:37
Réponse: Correction/ rédaction de gerondif, postée le 25-10-2015 à 22:48:51 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
I would like to speak about a Monster who adopted a human appearance to deceive everyone. She looks like an angel to the teachers but is a devil for the students like me who try to get better marks than she does.
I call her a hypocrite ! Her real name is
She hypnotizes us, we fall victims to her soft eyes.
When she paralyzes us, she eats us inside, she invents a false appearance.
She told me that I was an angel but told R I was a demon , she told me that R was a demon and she told him that he was an angel.
She films me in the street, then she swears that she is innocent even when we prove that she has lied, the Monster plays the role of a victim.(ou alors traduisez:elle prétend être victime )
Being such an idiot, I forgave her, I gave her a second chance, but she immediately took advantage of IT and poisoned me again
Since that day I have told this to all my friends but they see (consider est un synonyme de see) me as an insane person.
Nobody believed me, she hid her game and said that I had lied.
Of course one week later R and I(prénom) bitterly regretted their decision.They wished they had listened to me. She used them. This girl, who looks so nice, is very dangerous.
In class she is very soft but on Viber she insults me.
Réponse: Correction/ rédaction de netm, postée le 25-10-2015 à 22:57:42 (S | E)
I would like to speak about a Monster who adopted a human appearance to deceive everyone. She looks like an angel to the teachers but is a devil for the students like me who try to get better marks than she does.
I call her a hypocrite ! Her real name is
She hypnotizes us, we fall victims to her soft eyes.
When she paralyzes us, she eats us inside, she invents a false appearance.
She told me that I was an angel but told R I was a demon , she told me that R was a demon and she told him that he was an angel.
She films me in the street, then she swears that she is innocent even when we prove that she has lied, the Monster claims to be a victim.(c'est juste ? )
Being such an idiot, I forgave her, I gave her a second chance, but she immediately took advantage of IT and poisoned me again
Since that day I have told this to all my friends but they consider me as an insane person.
Nobody believed me, she hid her game and said that I had lied.
Of course one week later R and I(prénom) bitterly regretted their decision. They wished they had listened to me. She used them. This girl, who looks so nice, is very dangerous.
In class she is very soft but on Viber she insults me.
Voilà !
Réponse: Correction/ rédaction de gerondif, postée le 25-10-2015 à 23:06:01 (S | E)
oui, c'est juste.
Pourquoi gardez-vous IT en majuscule ? Parce que Here4U l'avait écrit comme ça par erreur ? On dirait que vous ne prenez pas de recul quand vous recopiez nos corrections.
D'ailleurs, vous auriez pu dire aussi, she immediately took advantage of me ....
Réponse: Correction/ rédaction de netm, postée le 25-10-2015 à 23:11:36 (S | E)
Ah oui effectivement je ne l'ai pas corrigé , mais je savais très bien que c'était faux , un petit oubli , excusez-moi .
Ah vous me conseillez donc de remplacer le It par me ? C'est vrai que les deux se disent j'hésite .
Je crois mettre me .
Merci encore !
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