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Correction/ texte NY

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/ texte NY
Message de eliseclerget posté le 18-06-2014 à 11:10:09 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
pourriez-vous s'il vous plait jeter un coup d'œil à ce texte de présentation de la ville de NY et me le corriger.
Merci d'avance.

New York, officially City of New York, by other means known under the names or abbreviations of New York City or NYC, is the biggest city of the United States and one of the most important of the American continent. It is located in the northeast of the United States, on the Atlantic coast, at the southeastern extremity of the State of New York. The city of New York is composed of 5 boroughs: Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, the Bronx and Staten Island. Its inhabitants are called the New Yorkers.
Between 1785 and 1790, the city of New York was the capital of the United States. It has been the most important city of the country since 1790, before fueling for a few decades the financial and political rivalry between New York and Philadelphia.
New York applies a significant impact on the international business, on finance, on medias, on art, on fashion, on research, on technology, on education and on entertainment. Gathering together the whole characteristics of a worldwide city, it is occasionally considered as “the world’s capital”. Even if, for more than 2 centuries, it has not been the federal capital of the US no more, New York is nevertheless the most populated city of the country, with 8 336 679 inhabitants according to the United States census Bureau. At the heart of the megalopolis of Bos Wash, its urban area of 19 069 796 inhabitants stretches on several counties of the State of New York (eastern and northern suburbs ) and encroaches upon 2 bordering states. Indeed, the State of New Jersey includes its western and southern suburbs, and Connecticut is composed by its northeast. As for its urban area, it grouped together 22 201 312 inhabitants in 2009.

New York is one of the most cosmopolitan cities of the world, with its several ethnic neighborhoods. The most famous ones are Little Italy, or Chinatown which integrates the largest concentration of Chinese population of America.
New York welcomes some 50 million annual visitors. Times Square, known as “the crossroads of the World”, is the hub of show business in the whole country and the theater district of Broadway, one of the most popular intersections, and a world major center of the entertainment industry. The city groups together a large number of bridges ( 788 in 2012), skyscrapers and worldwide renowned parks. The financial district of New York, put down roots by Wall Street in the Lower Manhattan, operates as the “ world’s financial capital” and is the hearth of the New York Stock Exchange and of its future financial center the One World Trade Center. What’s more, the realty market of Manhattan is part of the most expensive in the world.
To end, New York welcomes institutions of worldwide importance. We can especially quote the UNO headquarter, but also abundant multinational head offices and cultural centers, such as the Metropolitan Museum, the Brooklyn Museum, the MoMA, the Lincoln Center. Many renowned universities are situated in New York, notably the City University of New York, the Columbia University, the New York University, and the Rockefeller University, which are ranked among the top 50 world’s universities.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 18-06-2014 17:48


Réponse: Correction/ texte NY de here4u, postée le 18-06-2014 à 12:34:12 (S | E)
Hello !

This is a very .... long text : I'll start ...
green = suggestions
blue = wrong
X = missing element

New York, officially 'the City of New York'' or 'NYC', is the biggest city in the United States and one of the most important ones of the American continent. It is located in the Northeast of the United States, on the Atlantic coast, at the Southeastern extremity of the State of New York. The city of New York is composed of 5 boroughs: Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, the Bronx and Staten Island. Its inhabitants are called the 'New Yorkers'.
Between 1785 and 1790, the city of New York was the capital of the United States. It has been the most important city of the country since 1790, before fueling for a few decades the financial and political rivalry between New York and Philadelphia.
New York applies(??) a significant impact on the International business, on Finance, on XXX medias (it's already a [latin] plural!), on Art, on Fashion, on research, on technology, on the education and on entertainment. Gathering together the whole characteristics of a worldwide city, it is occasionally considered as “the world’s capital”. Even if, for more than 2 centuries, it has not been the Federal Capital of the US no more (double négation .... Grrrr... and 'more' indicates a 'quantity'. 'time = long' ...), New York is nevertheless the most populated city of in the country, with 8,336,679 (don't forget the commas!)inhabitants according to the United States census Bureau. At the heart of the megalopolis of Bos Wash, its urban area of 19,069,796 inhabitants stretches on several counties of the State of New York (eastern and northern suburbs ) and encroaches upon 2 bordering states. Indeed, the State of New Jersey includes its western and southern suburbs, and Connecticut is composed by its northeast. As for its urban area, it grouped together 22,201,312 inhabitants in 2009.

Sorry ! I have to stop ...




Réponse: Correction/ texte NY de here4u, postée le 19-06-2014 à 00:06:57 (S | E)
hello

Another stop to read about NYC !


I've noticed that this sentence (part of the first line ...) had disappeared ...
by other means known(in other words ???) under the names or abbreviations of New York City ....

New York is one of the most cosmopolitan cities of the world, with its several ethnic neighborhoods(I'm not sure I understand what you mean ...but others may !). The most famous ones are Little Italy, or Chinatown which integrates the largest concentration of the Chinese population of America.(OK ! I can see now ... I don't like 'several' ...'distinct'??, 'separate'??, any other suggestion ???)
New York welcomes some 50 million annual visitors. Times Square, known as “the crossroads of the World”, is the hub of show business in the whole country and the theater district of Broadway, one of the most popular intersections, and a world major center of the entertainment industry. The city groups together a large number of bridges ( 788 in 2012), skyscrapers and worldwide renowned parks. The financial district of New York, put down roots (??? developed starting from ...)by Wall Street in the Lower Manhattan,. It operates as the “ world’s financial capital” and is the hearth? (the hearth ? or the heart ?) of the New York Stock Exchange and of its future financial center: the One World Trade Center. What’s more, the realty market of Manhattan is part of the most expensive in the world.
To end, New York welcomes institutions of worldwide importance. We can especially quote the UNO headquarterS, but also abundant multinational head offices and cultural centers, such as the Metropolitan Museum, the Brooklyn Museum, the MoMA, the Lincoln Center. Many renowned universities are situated in New York, notably the City University of New York, the Columbia University, the New York University, and the Rockefeller University, which are ranked among the top 50 world’s universities.

Je ne sais pas à qui ou quoi vous destinez cette présentation ... C'est vraiment très factuel (tant mieux si c'est ce qu'il fallait faire !)mais ce n'est pas le New York que je connais et aime ...
Bon courage !





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