Friendship /correction

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Friendship /correction
Message de a2naima posté le 03-01-2014 à 19:36:57 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,

s'il vous plait y a t-il quelqu'un qui peut me corriger ce texte sur friendship?
Merci pour votre aide.

We live together in society where everyone need to make relation with another, this relation can last for long time and became a friendship
Friendship is a deep and beautiful relationship that make together two body in one soul, it’s mean that the friend became more than a brother or a sister
A friend is someone that we can charring him ours memory, ours lovely and bad moment and entrust him ours secret that we can tell it to ours family
Together we sharing ideas and solution to our problems and stay together in good or bad times and even that we fight sometimes no one or nothing can separate us
But, in ours days friendship became rare because lot of people have became hypocrisy and selfish so many problems happen between friends
For me friendship is a deep feeling that should be conserved because it’s a source of love, peace and solidarity

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Modifié par lucile83 le 03-01-2014 21:19

Réponse: Friendship /correction de carr30, postée le 04-01-2014 à 16:09:11 (S | E)
Hello

There are some problems with your phrases.
'Make relation with' is not good English, just say 'to relate'
Check the words, relation, relate and relationship.

We live together in a society where everyone needs to make relation with another, this relationship can last for long time and became a friendship
Friendship is a deep and beautiful relationship that makes together two body (plural of body?)) into one soul, it’s means that the friend becomes more than a brother or a sister
A friend is someone that we can charring him ours memory...???share our memories with??, ours lovely and bad moment and entrust him ours secret that we can tell it to ours family 'Ours' does not exist ..this sentence needs rewriting
Together we share~~ing~~ ideas and solutions to our problems and stay together in good or bad times and even that..though? we fight sometimes no one or nothing can separate us
But, in ours days friendship became..becomes rare because a lot of people have became hypocrisy.. is a noun, you need the adjective and selfish, so many problems happen between friends
For me friendship is a deep feeling that should be conserved because it’s a source of love, peace and solidarity

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Modifié par lucile83 le 04-01-2014 16:19

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