Help/essay about smoking
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Message from ayoub96 posted on 16-08-2013 at 00:44:20 (D | E | F)
Hello,
I hope you're all fine.I need someone to help me correcting my writing.
So here is the text.It is about smoking:
In the past, smoking was a sign of luxury. Only the richest people could smoke. The world did not conceive the danger of tobacco until the 20th century. However, even today, there still some people who believe that tobacco is good for health. They think it calm them, whereas the reality is quite different. So, what might be the danger of smoking on our health?
First, smoking causes numerous breathing problems to it addicts. It engender very serious diseases like lung cancer that lead to an enormous number of dead every year. Indeed, in 2012, more than 5 million persons die due to smoking.
Secondly, tobacco is more dangerous for the smoker’s entourage than for the smoker himself. Effectively, 75 percent of the cigarette smoked is breathed by people who stand by the smoker, while this latter does not breathe only 25 percent of it. In other side, that engender social problems. Many families were broken because of smokers. For example, a wife could not admit to live with a smoker husband. He constitute a danger for her and for their children.
Finally, smoking have also psychical consequences. All smokers became one day addicted to tobacco and this because the presence of nicotine in it. Once a person starts smoking, she cannot give up. I know numerous smokers who cognize the bad effects of tobacco. However, they cannot backtrack.
To conclude, smoking are not good for health as some people pretend; it is indeed very dangerous to the smoker and his entourage. It causes the death of many persons every years. In addition, it lead to psychical and social problems. That is why people have to hurry about tobacco especially it addicts who could reverse their destiny, even give up looks impossible.
Thanks in advanceto help for helping me 
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Edited by lucile83 on 16-08-2013 07:44
Message from ayoub96 posted on 16-08-2013 at 00:44:20 (D | E | F)
Hello,
I hope you're all fine.I need someone to help me correcting my writing.
So here is the text.It is about smoking:
In the past, smoking was a sign of luxury. Only the richest people could smoke. The world did not conceive the danger of tobacco until the 20th century. However, even today, there still some people who believe that tobacco is good for health. They think it calm them, whereas the reality is quite different. So, what might be the danger of smoking on our health?
First, smoking causes numerous breathing problems to it addicts. It engender very serious diseases like lung cancer that lead to an enormous number of dead every year. Indeed, in 2012, more than 5 million persons die due to smoking.
Secondly, tobacco is more dangerous for the smoker’s entourage than for the smoker himself. Effectively, 75 percent of the cigarette smoked is breathed by people who stand by the smoker, while this latter does not breathe only 25 percent of it. In other side, that engender social problems. Many families were broken because of smokers. For example, a wife could not admit to live with a smoker husband. He constitute a danger for her and for their children.
Finally, smoking have also psychical consequences. All smokers became one day addicted to tobacco and this because the presence of nicotine in it. Once a person starts smoking, she cannot give up. I know numerous smokers who cognize the bad effects of tobacco. However, they cannot backtrack.
To conclude, smoking are not good for health as some people pretend; it is indeed very dangerous to the smoker and his entourage. It causes the death of many persons every years. In addition, it lead to psychical and social problems. That is why people have to hurry about tobacco especially it addicts who could reverse their destiny, even give up looks impossible.
Thanks in advance
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Edited by lucile83 on 16-08-2013 07:44
Re: Help/essay about smoking from sherry48, posted on 16-08-2013 at 14:09:17 (D | E)
Hello. Pay attention to third person singular present tense verbs! I have pointed out some of your mistakes below.
In the past, smoking was a sign of luxury. Only the richest people could smoke. The world did not conceive the danger of tobacco until the 20th century. However, even today, there ___ still some people who believe that tobacco is good for health. They think it calm_ them, whereas the reality is quite different. So, what might be the danger of smoking on
our health?First, smoking causes numerous breathing problems to it
addicts. It engender_ very serious diseases like lung cancer that lead to an enormous number of dead every year. Indeed, in 2012, more than 5 million persons die_ due to smoking. Secondly, tobacco is more dangerous for the smoker’s entourage than for the smoker himself. Effectively, 75 percent of the cigarette smoked is breathed by people who stand by the smoker, while this latter does not breathe_ only 25 percent of it. In other side
, that engender_ (consider another word) social problems. Many families were broken because of smokers. For example, a wife could not admit to live with a smoker husband. He constitute_ a danger for her and for their children. Finally, smoking have also psychical consequences. All smokers became one day addicted to tobacco and this because __ the presence of nicotine in it. Once a person starts smoking, she cannot give __ up. I know numerous smokers who ___cognize the bad effects of tobacco. However, they cannot backtrack.
To conclude, smoking are
not good for health as some people pretend; it is indeed very dangerous to the smoker and his entourage. It causes the death of many persons every years. In addition, it lead_ to psychical and social problems. That is why people have to hurry about tobacco especially it addicts who could reverse their destiny, even give up looks impossible. (Revise this last sentence). Sherry
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