Help /correction

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Help /correction
Message from giulia914 posted on 16-06-2013 at 22:40:39 (D | E | F)
Hello guys!

I'm a new member and I'd like to know if it's possible a little help about a text that I've to hand tomorrow morning, and I'm quite desperate because I can't find anyone who can correct it :S
I't a long one, so I know that maybe I'm too demanding, but I really hope for an aid!
Thanks in advance!
I put the link because here there's not enough space.
Link

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Edited by lucile83 on 17-06-2013 07:57

Re: Help /correction from gerondif, posted on 16-06-2013 at 22:53:23 (D | E)
Hello,
blue: needs correcting green: already corrected

The world has been witness of his precocious transformation and the gradualness with which it used to progress giving way to change, has been now replaced by an inexplicable urge to evolve. It’s enough looking around and everyone can notice the difficulty with which we find someone without a new generation mobile phone, tablet or laptop. Technology overwhelms us and his impetuous entrance has affected our lives in every aspect.
Nowadays, even the most traditional and conservative institutions, such as Politics or Church, have given up on the use of media like social networks, adopting neologisms that even the most recent dictionaries haven’t registered yet. This happens in response to a growing haste in giving or receiving the news and the need of people to "have their say" without filters and mediations.
So the press has been forced to give way to the imminent development of the faster and direct Internet, a huge frame of connections that allows everyone to communicate from any part of the globe, breaking all kinds of territorial boundary(plural). Sales and revenues of most of the newspapers are at a loss(? meaning ? decreasing?), and the sudden disaffection of their audience has compelled them to move - at least partially, if not fully- on the web.
The old game systems has been revolutionized and then overturned by the arrival of Internet which has allowed to ordinary citizens to create their own space of ideas at no cost, without bosses or censorship. The Middle East is testimony to the power of this communications medium that has thrown open to its peoples a window on a world far away from theirs, with ideologies and traditions as different as contrasting, but enough to become a stimulus to start wanting to change something.
Therefore the information system has gone from being oligarchic to being democracy(you need the adjective). Or would it be more correct to term it anarchist?
In regard to this, I’m going to report a recent news, in my opinion, exemplary: no more than two months ago, after the attack during the Boston Marathon, it began a culprit hunting. The hypotheses about it have been a lot(numerous); the shadow of September 11th is still alive in Americans’ fears. Anyway, especially one became food for thought when it was denied.
Three days after the attack in Boston, on the social news Reddit a woman revealed that, after seeing police's photos, she had recognized Sunil Tripathi (a 22-years-old student who lived in Rhode Island, who’s been missing since March 13th) as one of the two bombers sought; then on Twitter, Kevin Michael, a cameraman for CBS, declared that the names of the two suspects were identified, one of whom was Sunil Tripathi. Many people have subsequently praised the incredible work carried out by social media, which have demonstrated to be a step ahead of the police, ignoring the fact that this one had never mentioned the name of the boy. Only the day after(later), when the NBC reporter Pete Williams denied the involvement in Boston attacks of the missing student, the enthusiasm faded away (you need a structure with an inversion and "did").
Before the denial, Sunil’s family received 72 calls from media and social media hoping for some declarations about the potential involvement of the guy in the attack of the 15th of April; the facebook page opened by his family to encourage his search has been frozen for several abuses posted on it, and the young man’s name has circulated in the press in Indian and Britain by dawn. Following the revelation of the real bombers’ names, medias apologized and concluded that unpleasant “online witch hunts” (Reddit cit.).
Just over a decade ago, if a men would have started shouting on the street the name of an alleged bomber, most of people would have deemed him as a fool and he would have been ignored until a confirmation or denial from a more reliable source. Today, if the same man would write (you need a subjunctive, written like a preterite)on the web what he has shouted ten years before on the street, probably, he would be believed. And the episode mentioned above it’s a glaring demonstration.
In my opinion, the most surprising and worrying fact isn’t the malleability of some user’s beliefs (gossip came long before compared to internet coming); but the fragility and sense of inadequacy shown by old media, which have groped to keep up with the new ones, giving priority to the immediacy of the news over its reliability. Then, the first consequences have repercussions on gossip victims as well as their closest people.
Media’s vulnerability has always been tangible, it would be presumptuous and preposterous to claim that newspapers or TV have never misunderstood or invented news. Nevertheless, for public opinion they use to be considered as a sort of authoritative benchmark, whose errors were authoritative in their turn. Perhaps because they’re out of reach, so they’re seen with a hint of ambition and compliance, even if TV is actually a bridge between the ‘paper universe’ -filtered and managed by few ones- and the virtual one - due to the speed with which the news travels.

On the contrary the Web is a blank canvas where you don’t need to be an artist to draw it on, and in this lies its strength (democracy) and its weakness (anarchy). We can’t pretend not to know that the virtual world is so vast and its weave so dense that it would be almost impossible to control it entirely. Moreover, if someone would put filters in comments or news published by private citizens, he would be accused of censorship, further shortening the distance between press and TV from Internet.
In conclusion, it appears likely that -in the matter of Web(as far as the Web is concerned)- each surveillance strategy, moderation and mediation will prove to be approximate and easily possible to elude. Only individual consciences should be up to discipline themselves to avoid hurting people's feelings. Traditional media, on their side(as for them), should maintain what I believe to have been their most estimable quality: patience.
It’s only thanks to patience that Information can be credible and truthful again, and it’s only through..........

few mistakes but the text is so dense that you forget what you have read immediately after reading it, I do anyway !

Re: Help /correction from giulia914, posted on 17-06-2013 at 00:06:11 (D | E)
Thank you so much,you've been really kind! Most of my mistakes were so childish... and yes, you're right, it's quite dense. I tried to reduce it but synthesis isn't really my thing, maybe because I'm italian! :D thank again for your help!

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