Correction / magique
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Message de spirou16 posté le 25-04-2013 à 10:18:30 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai un devoir à faire, inspiré du livre " The magic finger":
Il faut écrire une histoire où j'imagine que j'ai quelque chose de magique en ma possession, et plus précisément une partie du corps.
Il faut écrire tout le texte au " past tense".
Pouvez-vous m'aider à corriger mes fautes s'il vous plaît?
Merci pour votre aide.
On day, when I was nine years old, I put my magic hair coloring and I saw that all coloring was red! I was surpried, because I wanted to color this coloring with red.I understood my hair was magic and they colored with the color I wanted!
I tried to color my green desk on blue with on of my magic hair. My desk was blue! But I was effraid that my parents didn't understand my new power... I took another on magic hair and I layed on my desk and I prononced " green".... This was green! I trayed on the flowers in the garden with another hair, with another color and at each time this is magic! I didn't color the sky because I couldn't touch it!
I used my magic hair for coloring: flowers, papers and a lot of little things in my room. But it was a secret, a big dark secret for me. That come, when I arrived in my new house, I think this magic hair was a greqt grand-mother's legacy because in my family, my great grand-mother: Melina Alpagane was a with.
However she knew this power but she thought that I shall not can the métriser for a very long time. She knew that by cutting my hair my power disparaited, but I did not know him. One day She cut my hair because she found but too dry hair.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 25-04-2013 12:40
Message de spirou16 posté le 25-04-2013 à 10:18:30 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai un devoir à faire, inspiré du livre " The magic finger":
Il faut écrire une histoire où j'imagine que j'ai quelque chose de magique en ma possession, et plus précisément une partie du corps.
Il faut écrire tout le texte au " past tense".
Pouvez-vous m'aider à corriger mes fautes s'il vous plaît?
Merci pour votre aide.
On day, when I was nine years old, I put my magic hair coloring and I saw that all coloring was red! I was surpried, because I wanted to color this coloring with red.I understood my hair was magic and they colored with the color I wanted!
I tried to color my green desk on blue with on of my magic hair. My desk was blue! But I was effraid that my parents didn't understand my new power... I took another on magic hair and I layed on my desk and I prononced " green".... This was green! I trayed on the flowers in the garden with another hair, with another color and at each time this is magic! I didn't color the sky because I couldn't touch it!
I used my magic hair for coloring: flowers, papers and a lot of little things in my room. But it was a secret, a big dark secret for me. That come, when I arrived in my new house, I think this magic hair was a greqt grand-mother's legacy because in my family, my great grand-mother: Melina Alpagane was a with.
However she knew this power but she thought that I shall not can the métriser for a very long time. She knew that by cutting my hair my power disparaited, but I did not know him. One day She cut my hair because she found but too dry hair.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 25-04-2013 12:40
Réponse: Correction / magique de mariesuzon, postée le 25-04-2013 à 14:27:51 (S | E)
Bonjour, voilà une correction rapide des plus grosses fautes, il y en a sûrement d'autres... le début de l'histoire est étrange, j'ai du mal à comprendre ce que vous voulez dire.
One day, when I was nine years old, I put my magic hair coloring and I saw that all coloring was red! I was surprised, because I wanted to color this coloring with red. I understood my hair was magic and
I tried to color my green desk on blue with one of my magic hair. My desk was blue! But I was
I used my magic hair for coloring: flowers, papers and a lot of little things in my room. But it was a secret, a big dark secret for me. That come, voulez vous dire "cela arriva" ? when I arrived in my new house, I think this magic hair was a
However she knew this power but she thought that I shall not
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