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Letter/correction

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Letter/correction
Message from wangboniu posted on 15-06-2011 at 18:13:24 (D | E | F)
Hello,

I really need someone to proofread my letter.
Thank you for your help.
Best wishes,

To whom it may concern,

I am so sorry to interrupt you. There is one thing that I really need your help. My scores are as follows: Listening 7, Reading 7.5, Writing 5, Speaking 5.5, total score: 6.5. I hope to take 10-week BME presessional courses, but my writing score does not meet the entry level. It needs 5.5 in writing and 6.0 in total.

People always say that the interest is the best teacher. In fact, my interest is business rather than English. After reading the introductions to BME, EAP and EAS(I got an offer), I found that I am interested in BME. In deed, compared to other courses, BME focuses more on business. It teaches English indirectly through case studies, journal articles and business and management text books. That is the content I really want to learn. As a result, this strong feeling would make me get into a peak emotional state which could ensure that I can study it quickly, easily and effortlessly. Further more, in order to acquire the interesting business knowledge, I will learn English subconsciously just like a native speaker. It means that I am going to learn by engaging my subconscious. This could be the best way to learn English. In fact, I incidentally used this way to improve my English reading. For finishing my former master's thesis, I had to read plenty of English papers. After that experience, I fortunately found I can read some difficult articles easily. It could be one essential reason why I can get 7.5 in reading test.

In conclusion, I would benefit greatly from taking BME course in two respects. First, I would acquire lots of business knowledge, which could be quite useful for my subject. Second, I could improve my English subconsciously, which would be essential for my communication. Therefore, it could kill two birds with one stone.

Yours sincerely

-------------------
Edited by wangboniu on 15-06-2011 18:14

-------------------
Edited by lucile83 on 15-06-2011 18:42


Re: Letter/correction from gerondif, posted on 15-06-2011 at 18:40:32 (D | E)
Hello,

To whom it may concern,

I am so sorry to interrupt you. There is one thing that I really need your help with. My scores are as follows: Listening 7, Reading 7.5, Writing 5, Speaking 5.5, total score: 6.5. I hope to take a 10-week BME presessional course*, but my writing score does not meet the entry level. It(I) needs 5.5 in writing and 6.0 in total.

People always say that the interest is the best teacher. In fact, my interest is business rather than English. After reading the introductions to BME, EAP and EAS(I got an offer), I found that I am interested in BME. Indeed, compared to other courses, BME focuses more on business. It teaches English indirectly through case studies, journal articles and business and management text books. That is the content I really want to learn. As a result, this strong feeling would make me get into a peak emotional state which could ensure that I can study it quickly, easily and effortlessly. Furthermore, in order to acquire the interesting business knowledge, I will learn English subconsciously just like a native speaker. It means that I am going to learn by engaging my subconscious. This could be the best way to learn English. In fact, I incidentally used this way to improve my English reading. For finishing (to express aim, use to + infinitive)my former master's thesis, I had to read plenty of English papers. After that experience, I fortunately found I can read some difficult articles easily. It could be one essential reason why I can get 7.5 in reading test.

In conclusion, I would benefit greatly from taking this BME course in two respects. First, I would acquire lots of business knowledge, which could be quite useful for my subject. Second, I could improve my English subconsciously, which would be essential for my communication. Therefore, it(I) could kill two birds with one stone.

Yours sincerely





Re: Letter/correction from wangboniu, posted on 16-06-2011 at 04:09:52 (D | E)
Hello,gerondif
I have corrected my letter according to your advice. Thanks for your help. It is a big favor.
Best wishes,




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