Let's Suggest/29

Let's Suggest/29
Message de here4u posté le 23-12-2022 à 08:23:54 (S | E | F)
Hello, dear workers!

Here is the new topic for you to write about... I hope many will participate enthusiatically... This topic is vital just now...

You mustn't be afraid of making mistakes... We LOVE mistakes, because they give us an opportunity to explain and correct!

Here is today's topic, suggested by a faithful worker on this Forum:

"Yes! There is, and there will always be a Santa Claus!" Here's the proof!... Give examples that make you sure of Santa's existence and presence... (130 to 150 words) (No confession is required... You may create your examples, or dream , to fit your purpose...)


Voici le rappel des modalités de la première partie de l'exercice :
1. Je vous demande une EXPRESSION sur le sujet proposé à m’envoyer en mp dès que possible …
2. Le plus tôt possible, cette première expression sera publiée sur le Forum, et CHACUN sera libre de « corriger » UNE FOIS ( en collant le texte et indiquant les erreurs EN BLEU, et en soulignant ce qui vous semble maladroit et que vous voudriez changer, sans donner la « correction » (forme correcte), à ce moment là, comme il se doit.) Si un autre membre a déjà indiqué des erreurs en bleu, VOUS DEVEZ repartir de cette correction et la confirmer ou la corriger... Un seul devoir à la fois sera publié pour corriger … Vous pourrez ensuite donner vos suggestions de correction (en vert!)

IMPORTANT! Pour me faciliter le transfert de vos travaux sur le site, pourriez vous m'indiquer par un "(" la correction qui s'impose à vous, s'il vous plaît ?
ie. (I'm repeating for years... ou (was not only to want something,... Pourquoi ? Simplement parce que le site ne "garde" pas les indications de couleurs ou de soulignement etc. dès que l'on copie ... Donc, je prends vos travaux, je les corrige avec les codes "bleu" ou "souligné" ou "vert", mais au moment où je vous poste la correction, je perds tout mon travail ... et dois tout refaire mot à mot avec deux fenêtres ou même deux écrans pour un travail fastidieux de copie point par point ... Merci de votre aide !

Les modalités complètes sont accessibles sur le lien suivant :
Lien internet


( Je vous les rappellerai au fur et à mesure de la progression du travail )
Cet exercice sera ... ce que vous en ferez : ou ou Do your best, I trust You!
Correction en ligne le dimanche 8 janvier 2023.
J'attends vos envois en mp et publierai le premier dès que possible.

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU and with US!



🎅

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/29 de here4u, postée le 24-12-2022 à 13:52:27 (S | E)
PLEASE...

I need to know that Santa exists...

Tell me one of your stories...

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/29 de here4u, postée le 25-12-2022 à 20:56:06 (S | E)
Hello dears, I hope you're having a 🎅 🎅 🎅 🎄

Here's EXPRESSION N°1: please, help us make it perfect, indicating possible mistakes in blue, and underlining what you think is clumsy!

Of course, there is a Santa Claus, and I even visited his country and his village last year.
Located a few kilometers from Rovaniemi in Finnish Lapland, Santa's park offers a wide range of activities and a real feast for kids'eyes and others.
After a hug with the huskies, we left on a sleigh pulled by reindeers; we weren't cold thanks to Mrs Claus' blankets.
On our way back, elves in green trousers and red jackets served us hot chocolate and buns.There was no time to hang around in the tea-room, as the line to visit the workshops was long. But it was worth waiting, a real anthill: while singing, hundreds of busy elves were preparing orders or making toys.
Finally we ended with the best proof to your question:the photo.
We sat on either side of Santa; I even remember him asking us if we have been nice!
Do you want to see this picture ? 160 words


Thanks for your help! 🎅 🎄 🎅 🎄

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/29 de maxwell, postée le 26-12-2022 à 21:22:11 (S | E)
Hello!
EXPRESSION N°1: mistakes and clumsiness

Of course, there is a Santa Claus, and I even visited his country and his village last year.
Located a few kilometers from Rovaniemi in Finnish Lapland, Santa's park offers a wide range of activities and a real feast for kids'eyes and others.
After a hug with the huskies, we left on a sleigh pulled by reindeers; we weren't cold thanks to Mrs Claus' blankets.
On our way back, elves in green trousers and red jackets served us hot chocolate and buns.There was no time to hang around in the tea-room, as the line to visit the workshops was long. But it was worth waiting, a real anthill: while singing, hundreds of busy elves were preparing orders or making toys.
Finally we (ended with the best proof to your question:the photo.
We sat on either side of Santa; I even remember (him asking us if we (have been nice!
Do you want to see this picture ? 160 words

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/29 de maxwell, postée le 27-12-2022 à 20:34:28 (S | E)
Hello!
EXPRESSION N°1: suggestions

Of course, there is a Santa Claus, and I even visited his country and his village last year.
Located a few kilometers from Rovaniemi in Finnish Lapland, Santa's park offers a wide range of activities and a real feast for kids' eyes and others.
After a hug with the huskies, we (1) left on a sleigh pulled by reindeers; we weren't cold thanks to Mrs Claus'(s blankets.
On our way back, elves in green trousers and red jackets served us hot chocolate and buns. There was no time to hang around in the tea-room, as the line to visit the workshops was long. But it was worth waiting, (as we could see a real anthill: while singing, hundreds of busy elves were preparing orders or making toys.
Finally we ended (our journey(2) with the best proof to your question: the photo.
We sat on either side of Santa; I even remember (his asking us if we (had been nice!
Do you want to see this picture?

J'ai remis ou enlevé les espaces là où il fallait
(1) On passe de "I" à "We" : Il aurait été intéressant de savoir avec qui l'auteur a visité le village du Père Noël
(2) something ends, but we end something.

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/29 de amalia80, postée le 28-12-2022 à 10:42:23 (S | E)
Hello!
EXPRESSION N°1: suggestions

Of course, there is a Santa Claus, and I even visited his country and his village last year.
Located a few kilometers from Rovaniemi in Finnish Lapland, Santa's park offers a wide range of activities and a real feast for kids' eyes and others.
After a hug with the huskies, my family and I ( left on a sleigh pulled by reindeers; we weren't cold thanks to Mrs Claus'*(s blankets.
On our way back, elves in green trousers and red jackets served us hot chocolate and buns. There was no time to hang around in the tea-room, as the line to visit the workshops was long. But it was worth waiting, (as we could see a real anthill: while singing, hundreds of busy elves were preparing orders or making toys.
Finally we ended (our visit(2) with the best proof to your question: the photo.
We sat on either side of Santa; I even remember him (*his asking us if we (had been nice!
Do you want to see this picture ?

J'ai repris certaines corrections de Maxwell mais je ne comprends pas
*pourquoi rajouter 's derriere Mrs Claus'?
*pourquoi mettre his à la place de him ( je me souviens l'avoir entendu nous demander...

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/29 de here4u, postée le 28-12-2022 à 17:58:55 (S | E)
Hello dears!

Thanks for your help in EXPRESSION N°1! Maxwell peut préparer ses réponses ... Here's the second one...

EXPRESSION N°2: please, indicate possible mistakes in blue and underline what looks clumsy to you!

Of course Santa Claus exists; Here is may story.
It was when we wanted to move abroad.
At first we entered the foreign country with a tourist visa.
As we intended to stay there definitively, we applied for a long term visa by completing a 36-page form. However, our request was refused, because we hadn't given enough details.
Moreover an immigration lawyer helped us, and we applied again. Nevertheless, the government never had enough documentation to back it of. The lawyer told us:" Never give up."
Until our case gets investigated, we received a bridging visa that allowed us to stay in the country, but not work. Our savings melt away overnight. We have been doing some odd jobs illegally. We were in a preliminary position...
Then on morning, on december 24th, we got our long term visa, before becoming residents.
Who says that Santa Claus doesn't exist? We have to push him a little. 158 MOTS

for the help you'll give!

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/29 de amalia80, postée le 28-12-2022 à 18:40:45 (S | E)
HELLO !
EXPRESSION N°2: please, indicate possible mistakes in blue and underline what looks clumsy to you!

Of course Santa Claus exists; Here is(may story.
It was when we wanted to move abroad.
At first we entered the foreign country with a tourist visa.
As we intended to stay there definitively, we applied for a long term visa by completing a 36-page form. However, our request was refused, because we hadn't given enough details.
Moreover an immigration lawyer helped us, and we applied again. Nevertheless, the government never had enough documentation to back it of. The lawyer told us:" Never give up."
Until our case gets investigated, we received a bridging visa that allowed us to stay in the country, but not (x work. Our savings melt away overnight. We(have been doing some odd jobs illegally. We were in a preliminary position...
(Then on morning, on december 24 th, we got our long term visa, before becoming residents.
Who says that Santa Claus doesn't exist? We have to push him a little. 158 MOTS

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/29 de maxwell, postée le 28-12-2022 à 20:24:15 (S | E)
Hello!

EXPRESSION 2: Mistakes and clumsiness:

Of course Santa Claus exists;(ponctuation) Here is (may story.
It was when we wanted to move abroad.
At first we entered the foreign country with a tourist visa.
As we intended to stay there (definitively, we applied for a long(Xterm visa by completing a 36-page form. However, our request was refused, because we hadn't given enough details.
Moreover an immigration lawyer helped us, and we applied again. Nevertheless, the government never had enough documentation to (back it of. The lawyer told us:" Never give up."
Until our case (gets investigated, we received a bridging visa that allowed us to stay in the country, (but not work. Our savings melt away overnight. We (have been doing some odd jobs illegally. We were in a preliminary position...
Then (on morning, on (december 24th, we got our long(Xterm visa, before becoming residents.
Who (says that Santa Claus doesn't exist? We have to push him a little. 158 MOTS

Belle histoire

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/29 de maxwell, postée le 30-12-2022 à 21:03:56 (S | E)
Hello!

EXPRESSION 2: suggestions:

Of course Santa Claus exists! Here is (my story:
It was when we wanted to move abroad.
At first we entered the foreign country with a tourist visa.
As we intended to stay there (permanently (1), we applied for a (long-term visa by completing a 36-page form. However, our request was (denied, because we hadn't given enough details.
(Then an immigration lawyer helped us and we applied again. Nevertheless, the government never had enough documentation to (back it up. The lawyer told us: "Never give up."
Until our case (got investigated, we received a bridging visa that allowed us to stay in the country, (but not to work there. Our savings melt away overnight. We (did (2) some odd jobs illegally. We were in a preliminary position...
Then (one morning, on (December 24th, we got our (long-term visa, before becoming residents.
Who (said that Santa Claus (didn't exist? We (just have to push him a little! 158 MOTS

(1) definitively = de façon certaine, absolue ;
(2) "have been doing" impliquerait que l'action se poursuit dans le présent. Or, si j'ai bien compris, c'est du passé révolu.

Je corrige aussi la ponctuation et les espaces

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/29 de amalia80, postée le 31-12-2022 à 07:46:48 (S | E)
HELLO !
EXPRESSION N°2: suggestios

Of course Santa Claus exists; Here is(my story.
It was when we wanted to move abroad.
At first we entered the foreign country with a tourist visa.
As we intended to stay there definitively, we applied for a long- term visa by completing a 36-page form. However, our request was refused, because we hadn't given enough details.
Moreover an immigration lawyer helped us, and we applied again. Nevertheless, the government never had enough documentation to back it of. The lawyer told us:" Never give up."
Until our case gets investigated, we received a bridging visa that allowed us to stay in the country, but not (to work. Our savings melt away overnight. We(have been doing some odd jobs illegally. We were in a preliminary position...
(Then in the morning, on december 24 th, we got our long term visa, before becoming residents.
Who says that Santa Claus doesn't exist? We have to push him a little. 158 MOTS

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/29 de here4u, postée le 31-12-2022 à 15:42:43 (S | E)
Hello dears...

Encore un petit effort sur vos suggestions. Il reste des fautes (grammaire et vocabulaire ... !) Je voudrais que vous trouviez vous-mêmes ...
Mon "cadeau de Noël- Nouvel an" ??? 🎁 (If only the writer could have a peek at the correction and perfect it...)

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/29 de amalia80, postée le 31-12-2022 à 16:05:17 (S | E)
HELLO !
EXPRESSION N°2: suggestions N° 2

Of course Santa Claus exists; Here is(my story.
It was when we wanted to move abroad.
At first we entered the foreign country (on a tourist visa.
As we intended to stay there ( permanently , we applied for a long- term visa by completing a 36-page form. However, our request was refused, because we ( did not give enough details.
Moreover an immigration lawyer helped us, and we applied again. Nevertheless, the government never had enough documentation to back it of. The lawyer told us:" Never give up."
Until our case gets investigated, we received a bridging visa that allowed us to stay in the country, but not (to work. Our savings melt away overnight. We( did some ( illegal odd jobs . We were in a preliminary position...
(Then in the morning, on december 24 th, we got our long- term visa, before becoming residents.
Who says that Santa Claus doesn't exist? We have to push him a little. 158 MOTS

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/29 de here4u, postée le 01-01-2023 à 23:06:34 (S | E)
Hello dear!

I hope you could enter 2023 enthusiastically and joyfully! HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR! 🎁

EXPRESSION N°3: please, help us make it perfect, indicating possible mistakes in blue, and underlining what you think is clumsy!


How dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! He exists as certainly as love and generosity exist.
Who fills your stockings or brings you gifts under the Christmas tree every year with your name on it?
You can write a letter to Santa Claus to ask him to bring you all the gifts that you wish, provided you've been good all year. You don't even need to stick a stamp on it!
Santa Claus sometimes receives thirty-two thousand letters a day. Can you imagine?

Santa's magic is in every little thing that you wouldn't do except at Christmas. Santa lights the way to those things you've been hoping for. He makes your dreams come true.

If you're still not convinced, I suggest you watch "Miracle on 34th Street", and let yourself be transported by the magic of Christmas.

for your help!

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/29 de amalia80, postée le 02-01-2023 à 08:40:09 (S | E)
Hello!
EXPRESSION N°3: please, help us make it perfect, indicating possible mistakes in blue, and underlining what you think is clumsy!


How dreary(would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! He exists as certainly as love and generosity exist.
Who fills your( x stockings or brings you gifts under the Christmas tree every year with your name on ( it
You can write a letter to Santa Claus ( to ask him to bring you all the gifts( that you wish, provided you've been good all year. You don't even need to stick a stamp on it!
Santa Claus sometimes receives thirty-two thousand letters a day. Can you imagine?

Santa's magic is in every little thing that you wouldn't do except (at Christmas. Santa lights the way to those things you've been hoping for. He makes your dreams come true.

If you're still not convinced, I suggest you watch "Miracle on 34th Street", and let yourself be transported by the magic of Christmas.



It makes me want to see this film !

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/29 de here4u, postée le 03-01-2023 à 21:56:43 (S | E)
Hello dears!

Green allowed!

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/29 de amalia80, postée le 04-01-2023 à 11:40:26 (S | E)
Hello!
EXPRESSION N°3: suggestions

How dreary(the world would be if there (was no Santa Claus! He exists as certainly as love and generosity exist.
Who fills your( Christmas stockings or brings you gifts under the Christmas tree every year with your name on ( them
You can write a letter to Santa Claus ( asking him to bring you all the gifts ( you wish , provided you've been good all year. You don't even need to stick a stamp on it!
Santa Claus sometimes receives thirty-two thousand letters a day. Can you imagine?

Santa's magic is in every little thing that you wouldn't do except ( on Christmas. Santa lights the way to those things you've been hoping for. He makes your dreams come true.

If you're still not convinced, I suggest you watch "Miracle on 34th Street", and let yourself be transported by the magic of Christmas.

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/29 de here4u, postée le 05-01-2023 à 20:08:29 (S | E)
Hello dears,

EXPRESSION N°4 : texte original. Please, help us! Indicate possible mistakes in blue and underline what you think is clumsy...

When I was little boy, my big brother and sister spoke about Santa Claus and laughed. I’ve understood that something was strange but beeing the baby of the familly, I also understood that if i don’t tell something and write my letter to Santa, it wants to say that I believe to Santa. To believe to Santa implies to receive some presents and to stay my parents’s darling baby. More later, my parents said that Santa did not really exist and that I was tall and must know it ! What a sad news…
Now, I say to my children that Santa exist and I think it is good for the family. I'm father and I think it's nice to see the smiles on the children's face. 130

for your help.

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/29 de amalia80, postée le 06-01-2023 à 10:17:52 (S | E)
Hello dears,

EXPRESSION N°4 : Indicate possible mistakes in blue and underline what you think is clumsy...

When I was little boy, my big brother and sister( spoke about Santa Claus and laughed. I ('ve understood that something was strange, but (beeing the baby of the ( familly , I also ( understood that ** // ** i don't tell something and write my letter to Santa, it ( wants to say that I( belieive to Santa. (To believe to Santa implies to receive some presents and to stay my ( parents's darling baby.(More later, my parents said that Santa did not really exist and that I was tall and ( must know it ! What ( a sad news…
Now, I say to my children that Santa ( exist and I think it is good for the family. I'm x father and I think it's nice to see the smiles on the children's( face . 130

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/29 de maxwell, postée le 06-01-2023 à 20:23:37 (S | E)
Hello dears,

EXPRESSION N°4 : mistakes and clumsiness

When I was (XXX little boy, my big brother and sister spoke about Santa Claus and laughed. (I’ve understood that something was strange but (beeing the baby of the (familly, I also understood that if (i don’t tell (something and (write my letter to Santa, (it wants to say that I (believe (to Santa. (To believe to Santa implies (to receive some presents and (to stay my (parents’s darling baby. (More later, my parents said that Santa did not really exist and that I was tall and (must know it ! What (a sad news…
Now, I say to my children that Santa (exist and I think it is good for the family. I'm (XXX father and I think it's nice to see (the smiles on (the children's (face. 130

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/29 de here4u, postée le 07-01-2023 à 19:40:46 (S | E)
Hello!

Green required!

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/29 de maxwell, postée le 07-01-2023 à 20:16:51 (S | E)
Hello dears,

EXPRESSION N°4: suggestions

When I was (a little boy, my big brother and sister (talked about Santa Claus and laughed. (I understood (1) that something was strange but (being the baby of the (family, I also understood that if (I didn’t (2) (say (3) (anything (4) and (if I wrote (2) my letter to Santa, (it meant that I (believed (2) (in Santa. (Believing (5) (in Santa (implied (2) (receiving (5) some presents and (remaining (5) my (parents’ (6) darling baby. (Later, my parents said that Santa did not really exist and that I was tall (enough and (must have known it! What (sad news…
Now, I'm (a father (7) and I (tell my children that Santa (exists and I think it is good for the family: I think it's nice to see (smiles (8) on (children's (faces.

(1) I've understood est un bilan, au présent. Or, la narration concerne un passé révolu => preterit
(2) concordance des temps
(3) to say sth, to tell so sth
(4) négation (didn't) => anything
(5) c'est l'action de croire => gérondif
(6) après un nom se terminant en s, génitif sans s
(7) j'ai trouvé que c'était mieux de placer cette information ici
(8) c'est une généralité donc pas d'articles

Edit 8/1 8h53 : j'avais oublié de corriger :
- la majuscule à "I"
- la concordance des temps : "implied"

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/29 de here4u, postée le 08-01-2023 à 17:27:39 (S | E)
Hello dear Friends!

Encore beaucoup de problèmes techniques ... Je pense qu'il nous faudra arriver à ne travailler QUE SUR LA DERNIERE production (celle en bleu ET celle en vert
pour chaque production. ... if not, I'm going to lose my mind...) [I'll explain when the first EXPRESSION of the following exercise is published...]

Here's EXPRESSION N°1: initial text:

Of course, there is a Santa Claus, and I even visited his country and his village last year.
Located a few kilometers from Rovaniemi in Finnish Lapland, Santa's park offers a wide range of activities and a real feast for kids'eyes and others. TB
After a hug with the huskies, we left on a sleigh pulled by reindeers; we weren't cold, thanks to Mrs Claus' blankets.
On our way back, elves in green trousers and red jackets served us hot chocolate and buns.There was no time to hang around in the tea-room, as the line to visit the workshops was long. But it was worth waiting B, a real anthill: while singing, hundreds of busy elves were preparing orders or making toys.
Finally we ended with the best proof to your question: the photo.
We sat on either side of Santa; I even remember him asking us if we (have been nice!
Do you want to see this picture? 160 words (Of course, we do…) TTB TB Expression!

- Feast: festin, mais aussi « un régal/ un plaisir » meaning: a rich visual experience. B
- lire le lien pour améliorer "a hug with..." Lien internet



EXPRESSION N°1: indications N°1 :

Of course, there is a Santa Claus, and I even visited his country and his village last year.
Located a few kilometers from Rovaniemi in Finnish Lapland, Santa's park offers a wide range of activities and a real feast for kids'eyes and others.
After a hug with the huskies, we left on a sleigh pulled by reindeers; we weren't cold thanks to Mrs Claus' blankets.
On our way back, elves in green trousers and red jackets served us hot chocolate and buns.
There was no time to hang around in the tea-room, as the line to visit the workshops was long. But it was worth waiting, a real anthill: while singing,
hundreds of busy elves were preparing orders or making toys.
Finally we (ended with the best proof to your question: the photo.
We sat on either side of Santa; I even remember (him asking us if we (have been nice!
Do you want to see this picture ? 160 words

TBonne correction (un peu trop stricte parfois … )


EXPRESSION N°1: suggestions N°1:

Of course, there is a Santa Claus, and I even visited his country and his village last year.
Located a few kilometers from Rovaniemi in Finnish Lapland, Santa's park offers a wide range of activities and a real feast for kids' eyes and others.
After a hug with the huskies, we (1) left on a sleigh pulled by reindeers; we weren't cold thanks to Mrs Claus'(s blankets.
On our way back, elves in green trousers and red jackets served us hot chocolate and buns. There was no time to hang around in the tea-room, as the line
to visit the workshops was long. But it was worth waiting, (as we could see a real anthill: while singing, hundreds of busy elves were preparing orders
or making toys.
Finally we ended (our journey/ visit ? (2) with the best proof to your question: the photo.
We sat on either side of Santa; I even remember (his asking us if we (had been nice!
Do you want to see this picture?

J'ai remis ou enlevé les espaces là où il fallait
(1) On passe de "I" à "We" : Il aurait été intéressant de savoir avec qui l'auteur a visité le village du Père Noël [OK! you nosey one! ]
(2) something ends, but we end something.
- Mrs Claus’ or Mrs Claus’s blankets?
Lien internet

- Lien internet
: to serve somebody something / to serve somebody something.

EXPRESSION N°1: suggestions 2:

Of course, there is a Santa Claus, and I even visited his country and his village last year.
Located a few kilometers from Rovaniemi in Finnish Lapland, Santa's park offers a wide range of activities and a real feast for kids' eyes and others.
After a hug with the huskies, my family and I (left on a sleigh pulled by reindeers; we weren't cold thanks to Mrs Claus'*(s blankets.
On our way back, elves in green trousers and red jackets served us hot chocolate and buns. There was no time to hang around in the tea-room, as the line
to visit the workshops was long. But it was worth waiting, (as we could see a real anthill: while singing, hundreds of busy elves were
preparing orders or making toys.
Finally we ended (our visit(2) with the best proof to your question: the photo.
We sat on either side of Santa; I even remember him (*his asking us if we (had been nice!
Do you want to see this picture?

J'ai repris certaines corrections de Maxwell mais je ne comprends pas Maxwell s'expliquera avec plaisir .... J'en suis sûre !
*pourquoi rajouter 's derriere Mrs Claus'? [ Ce n’est pas nécessaire … cf lien sur le cas possessif des noms propres terminés par –S]
*pourquoi mettre his à la place de him ( je me souviens l'avoir entendu nous demander ... (il était ton Santa ? )
-I even remember (his asking us if we… : c’est vrai que l’on entend «remember him asking», surtout aux Etats Unis. La construction
« puriste » (britannique) est effectivement celle qui utilise l’adjectif possessif, mais ici, il ferait très/ trop? formel. Je dirais plus simplement : I even remember that he asked us if…

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

EXPRESSION N°2 : texte original and my indications:

Of course Santa Claus exists; Here is (may story.
It was when we wanted to move abroad.
At first we entered the foreign country with a tourist visa.
As we intended to stay there (definitively, we applied for a long term visa by completing a 36-page form… However, our request was refused,
because we hadn't given enough details.
(Moreover ce mot de liaison ne convient pas … ) an immigration lawyer helped us, and we applied again. Nevertheless, the
government never had enough documentation to (back it of. The lawyer told us:" Never give up."
Until our case (gets investigated, we received a bridging visa that allowed us to stay in the country, but not XX work. Our
savings (melt pourquoi ce présent ?) away (overnight. We (have been doing some odd jobs illegally.
We were in a (preliminary ??? it can’t be the right word…) position...
Then (on : ONE ?) morning, on (december 24th, we got our long term visa, before becoming residents.
Who says that Santa Claus doesn't exist? We have to (push him a little. 158 MOTS
A good Story and a good EXPRESSION!


EXPRESSION N°2: indications 1:

Of course Santa Claus exists; Here is(may story.
It was when we wanted to move abroad.
At first we entered the foreign country with a tourist visa.
As we intended to stay there (definitively, we applied for a long term visa by completing a 36-page form. However, our request was refused,
because we hadn't given enough details.
(Moreover an immigration lawyer helped us, and we applied again. Nevertheless, the government never had enough documentation to back
it of. The lawyer told us:" Never give up."
Until our case (gets investigated, we received a bridging visa that allowed us to stay in the country, but not (x work. Our
savings (melt away (overnight. We(have been doing some odd jobs illegally. We were in a (preliminary ??? I still don’t understand…)position...
(Then on morning, on (december 24 th, we got our long term visa, before becoming residents.
Who says that Santa Claus doesn't exist? We have to (push him a little. 158 MOTS

Une bonne correction. Il reste quelques détails à revoir

EXPRESSION 2: indications N° 2:

Of course Santa Claus exists;(punctuation) (Here is (may story.
It was when we wanted to move abroad.
At first we entered the foreign country with a tourist visa.
As we intended to stay there (definitively, we applied for a long(Xterm visa by completing a 36-page form. However, our request
was refused, because we hadn't given enough details.
(Moreover an immigration lawyer helped us, and we applied again. Nevertheless, the government never had enough documentation to (back it of. The lawyer told us:" Never give up."
Until our case (gets investigated, we received a bridging visa that allowed us to stay in the country, (but notX work. Our savings (melt away (overnight. We (have been doing some odd jobs illegally. We were in a (preliminary ??? position...
Then (on morning, on (december 24th, we got our long(Xterm visa, before becoming residents.
Who (says that Santa Claus doesn't exist? We have to push him a little. 158 MOTS

TB. De bonnes indications des erreurs …
Belle histoire
- Attention à la confusion : my: adjectif possessif et may: auxiliaire modal exprimant la permission ou la probabilité.
- Definitively : permanently.

EXPRESSION 2: suggestions 1:

Of course Santa Claus exists! Here is (my story:
It was when we wanted to move abroad.
At first we entered the foreign country with a tourist visa.
As we intended to stay there (permanently (1)B , we applied for a (long-term visa by completing a 36-page form. However, our request was (denied, because we hadn't given enough details.
(Then, B an immigration lawyer helped us and we applied again. Nevertheless, the government never had enough documentation to (back
it up. (je pense qu’il faudrait être plus clair …) The lawyer told us: "Never give up."
Until our case (got investigated, we received a bridging visa that allowed us to stay in the country, (but not to work there. B Our savings (melt away le temps est faux, de toute évidence….) (overnight.[N’est-ce pas un peu rapide ?] We
(did (2) some odd jobs illegally. We were in a (preliminary : right word? ) position...
Then (one morning, on (December 24th, we got our (long-term visa, before becoming residents.
Who (said that Santa Claus (didn't exist? We (just have to push him a little! (Ok pour cette dernière phrase… mais
elle pourrait être plus percuttante !)158 MOTS

(1) definitively = de façon certaine, absolue ;
(2) "have been doing" impliquerait que l'action se poursuit dans le présent. Or, si j'ai bien compris, c'est du passé révolu.OUI
Je corrige aussi la ponctuation et les espaces [Merci de ne pas trop faire souffrir Maxwell avec la ponctuation ... ]

EXPRESSION N°2: suggestions N°2:

Of course Santa Claus exists; Here is(my story.
It was when we wanted to move abroad.
At first we entered the foreign country with a tourist visa.
As we intended to stay there (definitively, we applied for a long-term visa by completing a 36-page form. However, our request
was refused, because we hadn't given enough details.
(Moreover ce link-word ne convient pas … mettre plutôt un mot exprimant un temps, ou qui montre l’enchaînement des événements) an immigration lawyer helped us, and we applied again. Nevertheless, the government( never had enough documentation to back it of. (Donner
du relief à cette expression.)The lawyer told us:" Never give up."
Until our case( gets temps)investigated, we received a bridging visa that allowed us to stay in the country, but not (to work.OK
Our savings (melt temps ?)away (overnight- mot inexact à revoir… ). We(have been
doing some odd jobs illegally. We were in a preliminary position...
(Then in the morning, on (december majuscule obligatoire) 24 th, we got our long term visa, before becoming
residents.
Who says that Santa Claus doesn't exist? We have to push him a little(voir plus haut). 158 MOTS

Bonne correction . Encore des problèmes de temps à corriger.

EXPRESSION N°2: suggestions N°3

Of course Santa Claus exists; here is(my story.
It was when we wanted to move abroad.
At first we entered the foreign country (on a tourist visa.
As we intended to stay there ( permanently , we applied for a long- term visa by completing a 36-page form. However, our
request was refused, because we ( did not give enough details. (devrait sans doute être plus « expliqué »…)
(Moreover an immigration lawyer helped us, and we applied again. Nevertheless, the government never had enough documentation
to back it of. The lawyer told us:" Never give up."
Until our case (gets investigated, we received a bridging visa that allowed us to stay in the country, but not (to work.
Our savings melt away (overnight. We(did some (illegal odd jobs . We were in a
(preliminary position...
(Then in the morning, on (december 24 th, we got our long- term visa, before becoming residents.
Who says that Santa Claus doesn't exist? We have to push him a little. 158 MOTS
OK! Bonnes suggestions. Attention aux temps ...

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

EXPRESSION N°3: original text and my indications.

How dreary (would be the world *if there were no Santa Claus! He exists as certainly as love and generosity exist.
Who fills your stockings or brings you gifts under the Christmas tree every year with your name on( it?
You can write a letter to Santa Claus to ask him to bring you all the gifts that you wish, provided you've been good all year. You don't even need
to stick a stamp on it!
Santa Claus sometimes receives thirty-two thousand letters a day. Can you imagine?(but this isn’t a proof of his existence! )
Santa's magic is in every little thing that you wouldn't do except at Christmas. Santa lights the way to those things you've been hoping for. He makes
your dreams come true.
If you're still not convinced, I suggest you watch "Miracle on 34th Street", and let yourself be transported by the magic of Christmas.
(149 W)
* GRRRRrrrr! Construction à revoir. TB à part cette horreur …

EXPRESSION N°3: indications N°1:

How dreary(would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! He exists as certainly as love and generosity exist.
Who fills your( x ( ?)stockings or brings you gifts under the Christmas tree every year with your name on ( it
You can write a letter to Santa Claus (to ask him to bring you all the gifts( that you wish, provided you've been good all year. You don't even
need to stick a stamp on it! Santa Claus sometimes receives thirty-two thousand letters a day. Can you imagine?
Santa's magic is in every little thing that you wouldn't do except (at Christmas. Santa lights the way to those things you've been hoping for.
He makes your dreams come true.
If you're still not convinced, I suggest you watch "Miracle on 34th Street", and let yourself be transported by the magic of Christmas.
Bonne correction.
It makes me want to see this film !


EXPRESSION N°3: suggestions N°1:

How dreary(the world would be if there (was no Santa Claus! He exists as certainly as love and generosity exist.
Who fills your (Christmas (I see… )stockings or brings you gifts under the Christmas tree every year with your name on ( them.
You can write a letter to Santa Claus ( asking him to bring you all the gifts ( you wish, provided you've been good all year.
You don't even need to stick a stamp on it! Santa Claus sometimes receives thirty-two thousand letters a day. Can you imagine?
Santa's magic is in every little thing that you wouldn't do except ( on Christmas. Santa lights the way to those things you've been hoping for.
He makes your dreams come true.
If you're still not convinced, I suggest you watch "Miracle on 34th Street", and let yourself be transported by the magic of Christmas. OK. TBonne correction

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

EXPRESSION N°4 : texte original and my indications.

When I was (X little boy, my big brother and sister spoke about Santa Claus and laughed. (I’ve understood that something
was strange but (beeing the (« baby of the (familly », (I’ve also understood that if (i (don’t tell (something and write my letter to Santa, it (wants to say that I (believe (to Santa. (To believe (to Santa implies (to receive some presents and (to (stay my (parents’s darling baby. (More later, my parents said that Santa did not really exist and
that I was (tall and must know it ! What a sad news… Now, I say to my children that Santa (exist and I think it is
good for the family.

Un bel effort ! De nombreux « détails » à revoir … (temps, formes …)

EXPRESSION N°4: indications N°1

When I was (X little boy, my big brother and sister (spoke about Santa Claus and laughed. I ('ve understood that something
was strange, but (beeing the baby of the (familly, I also (understood that** // ** i don't tell something
and write my letter to Santa, it ( wants to say that I( (belieive to Santa. (To believe to Santa implies to receive some presents
and to stay my ( parents's darling baby.(More later, my parents said that Santa did not really exist and that I was (tall and ( must know it !
What ( a sad news…
Now, I say to my children that Santa ( exist and I think it is good for the family. I'm x father and I think it's nice
to see the smiles on the children's( face . 130

De bonnes indications.

EXPRESSION N°4: indications N°2:

When I was (XXX little boy, my big brother and sister spoke about Santa Claus and laughed. (I’ve understood that something was strange but (beeing the baby of the (familly, I also understood that if (i don’t tell (something and (write my letter to Santa, (it wants to say that I (believe (to Santa. (To believe to Santa implies (to receive some presents and (to stay my (parents’s darling baby. (More later, my parents said that Santa did not really exist and that I was tall and (must know it ! What (a sad news…
Now, I say to my children that Santa (exist and I think it is good for the family. I'm (XXX father and I think it's nice to see (the smiles on (the children's (face. 130

Bonnes indications.

EXPRESSION N°4: suggestions N°1:

When I was (a little boy, my big brother and sister (talked about (j'aurais préféré quelque chose qui montrerait qu'il y avait beaucoup de discussions fraternelles et qu'ils ricanaient un peu méchamment ... C'est ainsi que je l'ai ressenti .... mais ?)Santa Claus and laughed.
(I understood (1) that something was strange but (being the baby of the (family, I also understood that
if (i didn’t (2) (say (3) (anything (4) and (if I wrote (2) my letter to Santa, (it meant that I (believed (2)
(in Santa. (Believing (5) (in Santa implies (receiving (5) some presents and (remaining (5) my (parents’ (6) darling baby. (Later, my parents said that Santa did not really exist and that I was tall (enough and (must have known it! What (sad news…
Now, I'm (a father (7) and I (tell my children that Santa (exists and I think it is good for the family: I think it's nice to see (smiles(8) on XXX (children's (faces.

(1) I've understood est un bilan, au présent. Or, la narration concerne un passé révolu => prétérit B
(2) concordance des temps
(3) to say sth, to tell so sth TB
(4) négation (didn't) => anything B
(5) c'est l'action de croire => gérondif
(6) après un nom se terminant en s, génitif sans s (à nuancer ! voir lien au-dessus)
(7) j'ai trouvé que c'était mieux de placer cette information ici
(8) c'est une généralité donc pas d'articles ( moi, j'aimerais bien déterminer les visages ... des parents aiment voir sourire leurs enfants ...! )


Une correction très difficile à transférer ... Malgré l'augmentation de mots permis octroyée par Master (Laurent, ), ces corrections sont trop longues pour pouvoir poster en une seule fois (ni même à pouvoir les coller en direct ... sans faire mes nouveaux brouillons online ... Plus de sauvegarde possible lorsqu'on a déjà appuyé pour libérer un premier exercice corrigé ... )
J'espère ne pas avoir laissé trop de coquilles ... je relirai demain la tête "reposée" ... (Fait ! )

En attendant, vous pouvez commencer à préparer vos Follow up Work expressions sur les passages qui vous posent le plus de problèmes ... (Même si c'est en retard, je les corrigerai ... )

Bravo à vous qui avez rédigé ... Bravo aussi à vous qui avez suivi sans oser publier ... (N'hésitez pas, une autre fois ...) et un grand merci et BRAVO à tous.

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/29 de maxwell, postée le 11-01-2023 à 08:38:04 (S | E)
Hello!
Follow-up work:


EXPRESSION N°1: final suggestions:

Of course, there is a Santa Claus, and I even visited his country and his village last year.
Located a few kilometers from Rovaniemi in Finnish Lapland, Santa's park offers a wide range of activities and a real feast for kids' eyes and others.
After (hugging the huskies, (my family and I left on a sleigh pulled by reindeers; we weren't cold thanks to Mrs Claus'(s (1) blankets.
On our way back, elves in green trousers and red jackets served us hot chocolate and buns. There was no time to hang around in the tea-room, as the line
to visit the workshops was long. But it was worth waiting, as we could see a real anthill: while singing, hundreds of busy elves were preparing orders
or making toys.
Finally we ended our (visit with the best proof to your question: the photo.
We sat on either side of Santa; I even remember (that he asked us if we had been nice!
Do you want to see this picture?

(1) J'ai compris que le s n'était pas indispensable. Mais tu l'avais mis en bleu comme s'il était "faux". J'ai compris que les choses évoluent et que tout le monde n'est pas d'accord. Mais que disent les puristes ? A l'école, j'ai retenu l'exemple : Chris's


EXPRESSION 2: final suggestions:

Of course Santa Claus exists! Here is my story:
It (happened when we wanted to move abroad.
At first we entered the foreign country with a tourist visa.
As we intended to stay there permanently, we applied for a (long-stay (1)visa by completing a 36-page form. However, our request was (denied (2), because we hadn't given enough details.
Then, an immigration lawyer helped us and we applied again. Nevertheless, (it seemed that the government never had enough (papers to (let us in, no matter what we showed. The lawyer told us: "Never give up."
Until our case got investigated, we received a bridging visa that allowed us to stay in the country, but not to work there. (Obviously, we needed a place to eat and sleep.(3) Therefore, our savings (had melt away overnight. We did some odd jobs illegally. We were in a (precarious situation (4)...
Then one morning, on December 24th, we got our (long-stay visa, before becoming residents.
Who said that Santa Claus didn't exist? (When we keep faith, things always turn out well!

(1) C'est ce qui t'avait fait sourire ?
(2) Tu as souligné denied mais n'as pas souligné refused => Je n'ai pas du tout compris ce qui ne va pas avec denied
(3) cela me semblait assez clair. Etait-ce ce que tu attendais ?
(4) je n'avais pas changé car je n'avais pas totalement compris => ici, je ne sais pas si je suis fidèle à l'auteur ?


EXPRESSION N°3: final suggestions:

How dreary (the world would be if there were no Santa Claus! He exists as certainly as love and generosity exist.
Who fills your stockings or brings you gifts under the Christmas tree every year with your name on (them.
You can write a letter to Santa Claus to ask him to bring you all the gifts that you wish, provided you've been good all year.
You don't even need to stick a stamp on it! Santa Claus sometimes receives thirty-two thousand letters a day. Can you imagine?
Santa's magic is in every little thing that you wouldn't do except at Christmas. Santa lights the way to those things you've been hoping for.
He makes your dreams come true.
If you're still not convinced, I suggest you watch "Miracle on 34th Street", and let yourself be transported by the magic of Christmas.

EXPRESSION N°4: final suggestions:

When I was a little boy (and my big brother and sister (brought up Santa Claus(, they sneered.
I understood that something was strange but being the baby of the family, I also understood that if I didn’t say anything and if I wrote my letter to Santa, it meant that I believed in Santa. Believing in Santa implies receiving some presents and remaining my parents’ darling baby. Later, my parents said that Santa did not really exist and that I was (old enough and must have known it! What sad news…
Now, I'm a father and I tell my children that Santa exists and I think it is good for the family: I think it's nice to see smiles on (their children's faces.

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/29 de here4u, postée le 12-01-2023 à 12:36:55 (S | E)
Hello dears!

Relecture de vos Follow up Work exercises.

EXPRESSION N°1: final suggestions:

Of course, there is a Santa Claus, and I even visited his country and his village last year.
Located a few kilometers from Rovaniemi in Finnish Lapland, Santa's park offers a wide range of activities and a real feast for kids' eyes and others.
After (hugging the huskies, (my family and I left on a sleigh pulled by reindeers; we weren't cold thanks to Mrs Claus'(s (1) blankets.
On our way back, elves in green trousers and red jackets served us hot chocolate and buns. There was no time to hang around in the tea-room, as the line
to visit the workshops was long. But it was worth waiting, as we could see a real anthill: while singing, hundreds of busy elves were preparing orders
or making toys.
Finally we ended our (visit with the best proof to your question: the photo.
We sat on either side of Santa; I even remember (that he asked us if we had been nice!
Do you want to see this picture?

(1) J'ai compris que le s n'était pas indispensable. Mais tu l'avais mis en bleu comme s'il était "faux". J'ai compris que les choses évoluent et que tout le monde n'est pas d'accord. Mais que disent les puristes ? A l'école, j'ai retenu l'exemple : Chris's Les puristes sont fatigués de "souffrir" de ce qu'ils entendent. Moi, j'ai gardé la règle qui consiste à dire : une syllabe : 's, deux et plus, ' seule. (donc Chris's/ Mrs Claus's/ Saint James's park.)


EXPRESSION 2: final suggestions:

Of course Santa Claus exists! Here is my story:
It (happened (oui, c'est mieux ... mais je serais allée encore plus loin ... "My story started when..) when we wanted to move abroad.
At first we entered the foreign country with a tourist visa.
As we intended to stay there permanently, we applied for a (long-stay visa by completing a 36-page form. However, our request was (denied, because we hadn't given enough details.(je n'aime pas trop ... je dirais quelque chose comme... we always seemed to be underdocumented ... or something showing the Administration was very demanding...)
Then, an immigration lawyer helped us and we applied again. Nevertheless, (it seemed that the government never had enough (papers(documents) to (let us in, (but you were in!)no matter what we showed. The lawyer told us: "Never give up."
Until our case got investigated, we received a bridging visa that allowed us to stay in the country, but not to work there. (Obviously, we needed a place to eat and sleep.(3) Therefore, our savings (had melt away overnight were melting away/ had melted away in a jiffy). We did some odd jobs illegally. B * We were in a (precarious situation (4)...
Then one morning, on December 24th, we got our (long-stay visa, before becoming residents.
Who said that Santa Claus didn't exist? (When we keep faith, things always turn out well!

(3) cela me semblait assez clair.Il me semblait important de préciser que ce n'était pas le travail qui était illégal (ou réprehensible) mais les conditions d'emploi ...)
(4) je n'avais pas changé car je n'avais pas totalement compris => ici, je ne sais pas si je suis fidèle à l'auteur ? Etait-ce ce que tu attendais ?"préliminaire" ???? c'était un mot inexact ..., même si, après un peu de réflexion, on avait compris ...


EXPRESSION N°3: final suggestions:

How dreary (the world would be if there were no Santa Claus! He exists as certainly as love and generosity exist.
Who fills your stockings or brings you gifts under the Christmas tree every year with your name on (them.
You can write a letter to Santa Claus to ask him to bring you all the gifts that you wish, provided you've been good all year.
You don't even need to stick a stamp on it! Santa Claus sometimes receives thirty-two thousand letters a day. Can you imagine?
Santa's magic is in every little thing that you wouldn't do except at Christmas.(OR AROUND CHRISTMAS) Santa lights the way to those things you've been hoping for.
He makes your dreams come true.
If you're still not convinced, I suggest you watch "Miracle on 34th Street", and let yourself be transported by the magic of Christmas.TTB

EXPRESSION N°4: final suggestions:

When I was a little boy (and my big brother and sister (brought up Santa Claus(, they (sneered.je n'aime pas sneered qui marque du mépris ... L'enfant est petit, il est normal qu'il parle du Père Noël ... Poor little guy! je "veux bien" que les grands "giggled"
I understood that something was strange but being the baby of the family, I also understood that if I didn’t say anything and if I wrote my letter to Santa, it meant/ would mean? that I believed in Santa. Believing in Santa implies receiving some presents and remaining my parents’ darling baby. Later, my parents said that Santa did not really exist and that I was (old enoughou big enough/ * and must have known it/ must know it! What sad news…
Now, I'm a father and I tell my children that Santa exists and I think it is good for the family: I think it's nice to see smiles on (their/ my children's faces.

*tall évoque la taille de l'enfant, pas son âge ni sa maturité.
Un très bon travail de correction.

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