Let's suggest/ 15
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Message de here4u posté le 26-05-2022 à 16:53:45 (S | E | F)
Hello, dear Workers!
Voici un nouvel exercice d'expression ...
Espérons que vous allez vous y risquer ... 
Je vous en prie ... Osez participer ! N'ayez pas peur de vous tromper, de faire des fautes, ou d'écrire "hors sujet". Les fautes nous sont utiles, puisqu'elles permettent de réfléchir, de faire des corrections et de donner des explications ...
Paradoxalement, faire une faute est la meilleure chose qui puisse NOUS arriver, à vous, comme à moi ! Merci à ceux qui en font !
N'ayez pas de scrupules, vous ne serez pas jugés, mais simplement guidés et aidés ...
C'est en pratiquant, encore et souvent, que les progrès viendront ! N'hésitez donc pas à intervenir, pour la correction des expressions de vos co-workers, comme pour l'écriture de votre propre expression si vous le désirez ... (Vous pouvez aussi - et certains ne s'en privent presque pas ...) écrire sur le "mode de la conversation", comme vous "parleriez" !)
Voici le rappel des modalités de la première partie de l'exercice :
1. Je vous demande une EXPRESSION sur le sujet proposé (un sujet unique par exercice) à m’ envoyer en mp dès que possible … (=> 130 - 150 mots au maximum.)
2. Le plus tôt possible, une première expression est publiée sur le Forum, et CHACUN est libre de « corriger » UNE FOIS ( en collant le texte et indiquant les erreurs EN BLEU, et en soulignant ce qui vous semble maladroit et que vous voudriez changer, sans donner la « correction » (forme correcte), comme il se doit.) Un seul devoir à la fois sera publié pour corriger…
Les modalités complètes sont accessibles :
Lien internet
( Je vous les rappellerai au fur et à mesure de la progression du travail )
Cet exercice sera ... ce que vous en ferez,
ou Correction en ligne le vendredi 10 juin 2022.
Voici le nouveau sujet !
"Would you go and live in a «foreign» country? What could motivate your decision?" (130 - 150 mots au maximum.)
May THE FORCE be with You (with all of you! ) Everybody's welcome! Do not hesitate to write! 
Message de here4u posté le 26-05-2022 à 16:53:45 (S | E | F)
Hello, dear Workers!
Voici un nouvel exercice d'expression ...
Espérons que vous allez vous y risquer ... 
Je vous en prie ... Osez participer ! N'ayez pas peur de vous tromper, de faire des fautes, ou d'écrire "hors sujet". Les fautes nous sont utiles, puisqu'elles permettent de réfléchir, de faire des corrections et de donner des explications ...
Paradoxalement, faire une faute est la meilleure chose qui puisse NOUS arriver, à vous, comme à moi ! Merci à ceux qui en font !
N'ayez pas de scrupules, vous ne serez pas jugés, mais simplement guidés et aidés ...
C'est en pratiquant, encore et souvent, que les progrès viendront ! N'hésitez donc pas à intervenir, pour la correction des expressions de vos co-workers, comme pour l'écriture de votre propre expression si vous le désirez ... (Vous pouvez aussi - et certains ne s'en privent presque pas ...) écrire sur le "mode de la conversation", comme vous "parleriez" !)
Voici le rappel des modalités de la première partie de l'exercice :
1. Je vous demande une EXPRESSION sur le sujet proposé (un sujet unique par exercice) à m’ envoyer en mp dès que possible … (=> 130 - 150 mots au maximum.)
2. Le plus tôt possible, une première expression est publiée sur le Forum, et CHACUN est libre de « corriger » UNE FOIS ( en collant le texte et indiquant les erreurs EN BLEU, et en soulignant ce qui vous semble maladroit et que vous voudriez changer, sans donner la « correction » (forme correcte), comme il se doit.) Un seul devoir à la fois sera publié pour corriger…
Les modalités complètes sont accessibles :
Lien internet
(
Je vous les rappellerai au fur et à mesure de la progression du travail )Cet exercice sera ... ce que vous en ferez,
ou Correction en ligne le vendredi 10 juin 2022.Voici le nouveau sujet !
"Would you go and live in a «foreign» country? What could motivate your decision?" (130 - 150 mots au maximum.)
May THE FORCE be with You (with all of you!
) Everybody's welcome! Do not hesitate to write! 
Réponse : Let's suggest/ 15 de here4u, postée le 28-05-2022 à 23:10:59 (S | E)
Hello, dear writers and correctors!
Here's a first EXPRESSION as an answer to our question!
very much for it! EXPRESSION N°1: you may indicate possible mistakes in blue and underline what you think is clumsy!
Living there abroad was my childhood dream because for me living abroad means meeting new people with a new culture, discovering their traditional music, their cuisine and even the way they receive foreigners at home is my happiness, I also like to live there to know people with whom I could exchange ideas to know how the world moves.
It's true it's not easy to leave the native country where to leave the warmth of the home and the friends who once overcame my morale in my sorrows.
leaving all that behind what the foreigner means has great importance for me because maybe my long-awaited dream came true there.
And to have family and friends that we could meet at my house and have fun, which makes us forget that we are strangers.
Thanks for your help!
Réponse : Let's suggest/ 15 de maxwell, postée le 29-05-2022 à 20:42:10 (S | E)
Hello!
EXPRESSION N°1: you may indicate possible mistakes in blue and underline what you think is clumsy!
Living there abroad was my childhood dream because for me living abroad means meeting new people with a new culture, discovering their traditional music, their cuisine and even the way they receive foreigners at home is my happiness, I also like to live there to know people with whom I could exchange ideas to know how the world moves. (phrase beaucoup trop longue)
It's true it's not easy to leave the native country where (je n'ai pas compris l'utilisation de where ici)to leave the warmth of the home and the friends who once overcame my morale in my sorrows.
(majuscule)leaving all that behind what the foreigner means (je n'ai pas compris ici, désolé) has great importance for me because maybe my long-awaited dream came true there. (problème de temps)
And to have family and friends that we could meet at my house and have fun XXX, which makes us forget that we are strangers. (il manque un sujet dans cette phrase ou alors which est en trop)
Réponse : Let's suggest/ 15 de here4u, postée le 31-05-2022 à 21:58:45 (S | E)
Hello dears!
Green allowed.
Thanks for your help! Réponse : Let's suggest/ 15 de maxwell, postée le 01-06-2022 à 20:16:06 (S | E)
Hello!
EXPRESSION N°1:
Living abroad was my childhood dream because for me, living abroad means meeting new people with a different culture, discovering their traditional music, their cuisine. Even discovering the way they receive foreigners at home is my happiness. I also like to live abroad to know people with whom I could exchange ideas to know how the world moves.
It's true it was not easy for me to leave the native country, the warmth of the home and the friends who once cheered me up in my sorrows.
Leaving all that behind what the foreigner means (*) has had a great importance for me because maybe my long-awaited dream has come true there.
Finally, having family and friends that we can meet at home and have fun with makes us forget that we are strangers.
(*) désolé, j'ai essayé longtemps mais je n'ai pas compris ce passage. J'ai préféré le laisser tel quel plutôt que d'être infidèle à l'auteur...
Réponse : Let's suggest/ 15 de here4u, postée le 03-06-2022 à 10:40:51 (S | E)
Hello!
Explanations have been given: the chosen country "is worth so much", (or expected so much of) that people's past lives, families and friends are left behind. If I understand well, "the attraction to the country is stronger than all the future predictable difficulties"...
for the explanations and your future help. (but 
-er indique bien une personne: read: reader/ write: writer/ work: worker; foreign: adjective: the person living in a foreign country: a foreigner (noun).
EXPRESSION N°2 will be posted tonight.
Réponse : Let's suggest/ 15 de here4u, postée le 03-06-2022 à 22:20:40 (S | E)
Hello dears!
EXPRESSION N°1:
Living abroad was my childhood dream because for me, living abroad means meeting new people with a different culture, discovering their traditional music, their cuisine. Even discovering the way they receive foreigners at home is my happiness. I also like to live abroad to know people with whom I could exchange ideas to know how the world moves.
It's true it was not easy for me to leave the native country, the warmth of the home and the friends who once cheered me up in my sorrows.
Leaving all that behind what the foreigner means has had a great importance for me because maybe my long-awaited dream has come true there.
Finally, having family and friends that we can meet at home and have fun with, makes us forget that we are strangers.
EXPRESSION N°2: you may indicate possible mistakes in blue and underline what you think is clumsy!
As all young people I would like to go and live in a foreign country. I like the change of habit and environement, the different customs too. I will like to meet new people and get accustomed to new ways of life. But it must be organised. My parents will never let me to go far of them without teachers or chaperons. I’m too young to be au pair and I like England and Italia. I’m trying to learn the language. Italia is quite near France and is practical and now that England is not in Europe with the Brexit, it is less easy to go there. In England, it’s often raining while it is very hot in Italia. Same the language is full of sun but of course, English is more useful that Italian. (138 words)
for your help! Réponse : Let's suggest/ 15 de maxwell, postée le 04-06-2022 à 08:09:52 (S | E)
Hello!
EXPRESSION N°2: you may indicate possible mistakes in blue and underline what you think is clumsy!
As all(*) young people I would like to go and live in a foreign country. I like the change of habit and environement, the different customs too. I will like to meet new people and get accustomed to new ways of life. But it must be organised. My parents will never let me to go far of them without teachers or chaperons. I’m too young to be XXX au pair and I like England and Italia (cette phrase rapproche deux idées qui semblent ne rien avoir entre elles ? A séparer ou ajouter un mot de liaison ou ajouter une explication). I’m trying to learn the language. Italia is quite near France and is practical (nécessite une explication) and (pas le bon mot de liaison)now that England is not (no longer est mieux)in Europe with the Brexit, it is less easy to go there. In England, it’s often raining while it is very hot in Italia. Same the language is full of sun but of course, English is more useful that
Italian. (138 words)(*) je trouve que all est un peu excessif mais chacun son point de vue
Réponse : Let's suggest/ 15 de here4u, postée le 07-06-2022 à 14:39:08 (S | E)
Hello dears!
Did I really forget to allow green?
Thanks for your help!
EXPRESSION N°3, tonight.
Réponse : Let's suggest/ 15 de maxwell, postée le 07-06-2022 à 20:19:16 (S | E)
Hello!
EXPRESSION N°2: suggestions
As all young people, I would like to go and live in a foreign country. I like the change of habits and environment, I also like learning about different customs. I would like to meet new people and get accustomed to new ways of life. However, it must be organised. My parents will never let me go far from them without teachers or chaperons. I’m still too young to be an au pair, what a pity! (*)
I like England and Italia: I’m trying to learn the language. Italia is quite close to France which is convenient to go there(*). Whereas it has become less easy to go to England since England left Europe with the Brexit. In England, it’s often raining while it is very hot in Italia; even Italian is full of sun! But of course, English is more useful than Italian. (138 words)
(*) j'espère que je ne trahis pas l'esprit de l'auteur ?
Réponse : Let's suggest/ 15 de here4u, postée le 07-06-2022 à 21:23:19 (S | E)
Hello, dears,
Voici l'EXPRESSION N°3! Merci de l'aide que vous pourrez nous apporter !
Going abroad is a wonderful thing to learn a language or discover different cultures and different lifestyles.
However, when it comes to leaving your country to live elsewhere for a long time, you need to have a definite project in mind: you have to think about what your future in this country will be and prepare yourself -and your family- for your arrival.
Unfortunately, some people need to emigrate against their will, due to political reasons (war for example) or economic reasons (they can't and won't find a job in their native land).
Well, I've always lived happily in France and never wanted to move abroad permanently. I just hope I will never have any bad reason to leave my homeland for good...
125 Words.
Merci d'indiquer les erreurs potentielles en bleu, et de souligner ce qui vous semble maladroit!
Vert autorisé demain ! Réponse : Let's suggest/ 15 de here4u, postée le 09-06-2022 à 17:08:51 (S | E)
Hello!
Vert autorisé ... et EXPRESSION N°4 ce soir!
Réponse : Let's suggest/ 15 de here4u, postée le 10-06-2022 à 01:46:01 (S | E)
A little late... Sorry!
EXPRESSION N°3: ready for last suggestions:
Going abroad is a wonderful thing to learn a language or discover different cultures and different lifestyles.
However, when it comes to leaving your country to live elsewhere for a long time, you need to have a definite project in mind: you have to think about what your future in this country will be and prepare yourself -and your family- for your arrival. (??? and your departure?)
Unfortunately, some people need to emigrate against their will, due to political reasons (XXX war for example) or economic reasons (they can't and won't find a job in their native land).
Well, I've always lived happily in France and never wanted to move abroad permanently. I just hope I will never have any bad reason to leave my homeland for good...
125W Pas de fautes ! Bravo !
Quelques "maladresses" tout au plus ...EXPRESSION N°4: you may indicate possible mistakes in blue and underline what you think is clumsy! Merci de mettre les " deux étapes en une " (indication des "erreurs" en bleu PUIS paragraphe en vertavec vos suggestions afin de pouvoir respecter le délais ! )
pour cette "gymnastique" supplémentaire. When I was young, (in the sixties)I dreamt of living abroad to learn languages and meet people.But, at a time when the age of majority was 21,girls, unless they were real adventurers, stayed in their famiies. So, I had to make with short stays in Europe to perfect my language skills .
Currently, many young people are trying their luck in other countries. Some, with degrees, have been recruited by head-hunters and are likely to have succesful carreers; others leave everything behind and go off on their own,living on the cheap and doing odd jobs.
Both will benefit from their experiences and it will have an impact on their lives.
And there are also those, and this is much less pleasing,who are forced to abandon their families and their homeland for political or economic reasons.Will they succeed in finding peace and a better life away from all they love?I wish them from all my heart.
155 words
for your help! Réponse : Let's suggest/ 15 de maxwell, postée le 10-06-2022 à 20:34:42 (S | E)
Hello!
EXPRESSION N°4: you may indicate possible mistakes in blue and underline what you think is clumsy
When I was young, (in the sixties)(ordre de la ponctuation) I dreamt of living abroad to learn languages and meet people.But, at a time when the age of majority was 21,girls, unless they were real adventurers, stayed in their famiies. So, I had to make XXX with short stays in Europe to perfect my language skills .
Currently, many young people are trying their luck in other countries. Some, with degrees, have been (temps) recruited by head-hunters and are likely to have succesful carreers; others leave everything behind and go off on their own,living on the cheap and doing odd jobs.
Both will benefit from their experiences and it will have an impact on their lives.
And there are also those, and this is much less pleasing,who are forced to abandon their families and their homeland for political or economic reasons.Will they succeed in finding peace and a better life away from all XXX they love?I wish them from all my heart.
Avec ces espaces qui manquent continuellement, je devine qui est l'auteur
Suggestions:
When I was young (in the sixties), I dreamt of living abroad to learn languages and meet people. But at a time when the age of majority was 21, girls, unless they were real adventurers, stayed in their families. So I had to make do with short stays in Europe to perfect my language skills.
Currently, many young people are trying their luck in other countries. Some, with degrees, are recruited by head-hunters and are likely to have successful careers while others leave everything behind and go off on their own, living on the cheap and doing odd jobs. Both will benefit from their experiences and it will have an impact on their lives.
There are also those, and this is much less pleasing, who are forced to abandon their families and their homeland for political or economic reasons. Will they succeed in finding peace and a better life away from all those they love? I wish they will from all my heart.
Réponse : Let's suggest/ 15 de here4u, postée le 10-06-2022 à 22:44:13 (S | E)
Hello, dears!
Voici les suggestions que vous avez faites pour améliorer vos quatre EXPRESSIONS (qui n'étaient "pas mauvaises du tout" !)
1)EXPRESSION N°1: (texte initial)
Living there abroad was my childhood dream because for me (punctuation) living abroad means meeting new people with a new culture, discovering their traditional music, their cuisine and even the way they receive foreigners at home is my happiness, I also like to live there to know people with whom I could exchange ideas to know how the world moves.(problème de concordance et cohérence des temps …)
It's true it's not easy to leave (the native country (where to leave ?? the warmth of the home and the friends who (once overcame : surmonter my morale in my sorrows. ???
leaving all that behind what the foreigner means has great importance for me because maybe my long-awaited dream came true there.(not sure I understand!)
(And to have family and friends that we could meet at my (house and have fun, which makes us forget that we are strangers.
EXPRESSION N°1: (suggestions)
Living abroad was my childhood dream because for me, living abroad means meeting new people with a different B culture, discovering their traditional music, their cuisine. Even discovering the way they receive foreigners at home is my happiness. I also like(temps ?) to live abroad to know people with whom I could exchange ideas to know how the world moves.
TB corrections
Les temps de la dernière phrase auraient besoin d’être plus cohérents et logiques.It's true it was not easy for me to leave (the native country, the warmth of the home and the friends who once cheered me up in my sorrows. Bonne correction.
Leaving all that behind what the foreigner means (*4) has had a great importance for me because maybe my long-awaited dream (has come true there.
Finally, having family and friends that we can meet at home and have fun with(virgule) makes us forget that we are (strangers.
EXPRESSION N°1: ready for further suggestions:
Living there(1) abroad was my childhood dream (2) because for me living abroad means meeting new people with a new (pas le bon mot… La culture découverte peut être très ancienne) culture,// (3) discovering their traditional music, their cuisine and even the way they receive foreigners at home is my happiness,// (3) I also (like (? temps ? to live there to know people with whom I (could ? exchange ideas to know how the world moves.
It's true it's not easy to leave (the native country[(where to leave the warmth of the home and the friends who once (overcame my morale in my sorrows.
(majuscule)leaving all that behind, what the (foreign(er country ) means has great importance for me because maybe my long-awaited dream (came true there. (problème de temps)
And (to have : le fait d’avoir/ de recevoir ?)family and friends that we could meet at my house and have fun XXX, (which makes us forget that we are (strangers.
EXPRESSION N°1:
Living abroad was my childhood dream because for me, living abroad means meeting new people with a different B culture, discovering their traditional music, their cuisine. Even discovering the way they receive foreigners at home is my happiness. I also like(temps ?) to live abroad to know people with whom I could exchange ideas to know how the world moves.
TB corrections. Les temps de la dernière phrase auraient besoin d’être plus cohérents et logiques.
It's true it was not easy for me to leave (the native country, the warmth of the home and the friends who once cheered me up in my sorrows. Bonne correction.
Leaving all that behind what the foreigner means (*4) has had a great importance for me because maybe my long-awaited dream (has come?? true there.
Finally, having family and friends that we can meet at home and have fun with(virgule) makes us forget that we are (strangers.
(1) «there»: là-bas : fait référence à un lieu éloigné, par opposition à «here»: ici, qui fait référence à un lieu proche. La «correction» suggérée a supprimé la localisation.
Elle aurait, à mon avis, dû être explicitée. (2) because for me living abroad means…: manque de ponctuation.
(3) //: les deux marques (//) de ce paragraphe signifient que les phrases, beaucoup trop longues, avaient besoin d’être remaniées.
(*4) "désolé, j'ai essayé longtemps mais je n'ai pas compris ce passage. J'ai préféré le laisser tel quel plutôt que d'être infidèle à l'auteur..."
Très bonne intention. Nous avons eu des éclaircissements de la part de l’auteur : foreigner= foreign country/ host country/ receiving country/ A reformuler, donc !
(5) confusion de sens : strangers : Lien internet
2)EXPRESSION N°2 :
As all young people I would like to go and live in a foreign country. I like the change of habit and environement, the different customs too. I will like to meet new people and get accustomed to new ways of life. But it must be organised. My parents will never let me to go far of them without teachers or chaperons. I’m too young to be au pair and I like England and Italia
. I’m trying to learn the language. Italia is quite near France and is practical and now that England is not in Europe with the Brexit, it is less easy to go there. In England, it’s often raining while it is very hot in Italia. Same the language is full of sun but of course, English is more useful that Italian. (138 words)Des enchaînements étranges. Il fallait relire cette fin de texte ...
EXPRESSION N°2: final suggestions
(As all young people, I would like to go and live in a foreign country. I like the change of habits and environment, I also like learning about different customs. I would like (Bonne suggestion de temps !)to meet new people and get accustomed to new ways of life. However, it must be organised.(Not very clear!) My parents will never let me go far from them without teachers or chaperons TB . I’m still too young TB to be an au pair, what a pity! (Maxwell a écrit : « j'espère que je ne trahis pas l'esprit de l'auteur » : je ne le pense pas …)
I like England and (Italia:
I’m trying to learn the language. (Italia is quite close to France TB *which is convenient to go there. (Whereas(1) it has become less easy to go to England since England left Europe with the Brexit. (2)In England, (it’s often raining(3) while it is very hot in (Italia; even Italian is full of sun! But of course, English is more useful than Italian. (138 words)*: quel est l’antécédent de ce «which»?
(1) Whereas n’est pas le mot de liaison qui convient.
(2) Manque de lien logique.
(3) «it’s often raining» impliquerait une nuance d’irritation que rien ne justifie ici, où c’est une simple constatation, une « vérité générale »…
Les transitions gagneraient à être explicitées dans le dernier paragraphe.
3)EXPRESSION N°3: Texte initial.
Going abroad is a wonderful thing to learn a language or discover different cultures and different lifestyles.
However, when it comes to leaving (1)your country TB to live elsewhere for a long time, you need to have a definite project in mind: you have to think about what your future in this country will be and prepare yourself -and your family- for your arrival.
Unfortunately, some people need to emigrate against their will, due to political reasons (XXX war for example) or economic reasons (they can't and won't find(2) a job in their native land).
Well, I've always lived happily in France and never wanted to move abroad permanently. I just hope I will never have any bad reason to leave my homeland for good...
125W Pas de fautes !
Bravo ! (1) TB
: Lien internet(2) Ambiguous.
4)EXPRESSION N°4:
When I was young, (in the sixties) I dreamt of living abroad to learn languages and meet people.But, at a time when the age of majority was 21,girls, unless they were real adventurers, stayed in their famiies. So, I had to make with ?* short stays in Europe to perfect/ improve my language skills .
CurrentlyB, many young people are trying their luck in other countries. Some, with degrees, have been recruited by head-hunters and are likely to have succesful carreers; others leave everything behind and go off on their own,living on the cheap B and doing odd jobs B. TB
Both will benefit from B their experiences and it will have an impact on their lives.TB
And there are also those, and this is much less pleasing, who are/ feel forced to abandon their families and their homeland for political or economic reasons.Will they succeed in finding peace and a better life away from (all (that) they love?I wish them (from all my heart. 155 words Quite a good text!
EXPRESSION N°4: Suggestions:
When I was young (in the sixties), I dreamt of living abroad to learn languages and meet people. But at a time when the age of majority was 21, girls, unless they were real adventurers, stayed in their families *. So I had to make do TB with short stays in Europe to perfect my language skills.
Currently, many young people are trying their luck in other countries. Some, with degrees, are recruited by head-hunters and are likely to have successful careers while** others leave everything behind and go off on their own, living on the cheap and doing odd jobs. Both will benefit from their experiences and it will have an impact on their lives.
There are also those, and this is much less pleasing, who are forced to abandon their families and their homeland for political or economic reasons. Will they succeed in finding peace and a better life away from all those they love? I wish they will from all my heart.
Un bon texte
et une bonne correction. - * Je changerais la construction ...
- ** Un autre mot de liaison serait meilleur. "while" indique le temps// préférer le contraste.
- On the cheap:
at little expense, by cutting costs/ pour pas cher. Lien internet- «To make with»? : j’aurais dit «make do with» ou "do with" se contenter de/ faire avec ;
- «to make with» est différent : US, dated, slang : provide, produce : donner, « filer/ refiler ». Lien internet
- De tout mon cœur : with all my heart.
Voilà ! Il ne vous reste plus, si vous en avez le temps et l'envie,
qu'à faire tout ou partie(s) du Follow up Work des EXPRESSIONS dont la correction ne vous semble pas encore assez claire. Vous pouvez aussi avoir envie de réécrire pour mieux vous approprier la nouvelle formulation.Un grand merci à tous les rédacteurs ... et à tous les correcteurs !
et Réponse : Let's suggest/ 15 de amalia80, postée le 11-06-2022 à 08:07:33 (S | E)
EXPRESSION N°4:
When I was young (in the sixties), I dreamt of living abroad to learn languages and meet people. But at a time when the age of majority was 21,in my family, girls weren't as free as boys and unless they were real adventurers, didn't travel around the world. So I had to make do with short stays in Europe to perfect my language skills.
Currently, many young people are trying their luck in other countries. Some, with degrees, are recruited by head-hunters and are likely to have successful careers whereas others leave everything behind and go off on their own, living on the cheap and doing odd jobs. Both will benefit from their experiences and it will have an impact on their lives.
There are also those, and this is much less pleasing, who are forced to abandon their families and their homeland for political or economic reasons. Will they succeed in finding peace and a better life away from all those they love? I wish they will with all my heart.
I rewrote the paragraph taking into account suggestions
Thank you very much Dear Here4you and Maxell for your corrections.
Réponse : Let's suggest/ 15 de maxwell, postée le 11-06-2022 à 08:22:04 (S | E)
READY TO BE CORRECTED
Hello!
EXPRESSION N°1:
Living here abroad was my childhood dream because for me, living abroad means meeting new people with a different culture, discovering their traditional music, their cuisine. Even discovering the way they receive foreigners at home is my happiness. I also wanted to live abroad to know people with whom I could exchange ideas to know how the world moves.
It's true it was not easy for me to leave my native country, the warmth of the home and the friends who once cheered me up in my sorrows.
Leaving all that behind what living in a foreign country means has had a great importance for me because maybe my long-awaited dream has come true, here in this country(1).
Finally, having family and friends that we can meet at home and have fun with, makes us forget that we are foreigners.
(1) j'ai enlevé "there" car, pour moi, le rêve est devenu réalité depuis ce changement de vie, et c'est toujours d'actualité. Et donc, pour moi "has come" true est le bon temps (tout comme : has had a great importance) : j'ai rajouté du contenu pour l'expliciter, en espérant ne pas trahir l'idée de l'auteur, évidemment... En tout cas, c'est comme cela que je comprends le texte.
EXPRESSION N°2: final suggestions
Like many young people, I would like to go and live in a foreign country. I like changing habits and environment, I also like learning about different customs. I would like to meet new people and get accustomed to new ways of life. However, going abroad has to be organised. My parents will never let me go far from them without teachers or chaperons. I’m still too young to be an au pair, what a pity!
I like England and Italy: I’m trying to learn the language. Italy is quite close to France, which(1) is convenient to go there frequently. By contrast(2) it has become less easy to go to England since England left Europe with the Brexit. Moreover, it often rains in England while it is very hot in Italy; even Italian is full of sun! But of course, English is more useful than Italian. (138 words)
(1) est-ce que, avec la virgule ajoutée (que j'avais oubliée
), which est bon ? ou alors which se rapporte-t-il obligatoirement au seul mot qui le précède et non pas à la proposition qui le précède ?(2) est-ce que whereas ne convenait pas ici uniquement parce qu'il était placé en début de phrase ? Effectivement, j'aurais voulu mettre une virgule à la place du point mais la phrase aurait été trop longue.
EXPRESSION N°3: ready for last suggestions:
Going abroad is a wonderful thing to learn a language or discover different cultures and different lifestyles.
However, when it comes to leaving your country to live elsewhere for a long time, you need to have a definite project in mind: you have to think about what your future in this country will be and prepare yourself -and your family- for your departure and your arrival.
Unfortunately, some people are forced to emigrate unwillingly (1), due to political reasons (the (2) war for example) or economic reasons (they can't find a job in their native land and they will probably never find one unless they try their luck elsewhere).
Well, I've always lived happily in France and never wanted to move abroad permanently. I just hope I will never have any bad reason to leave my homeland for good...
(1) j'ai changé mais je n'ai pas compris ce qui était maladroit
(2) "the" est-il obligatoire ?
EXPRESSION N°4: (je suis reparti de la correction d'Amalia)
When I was young (in the sixties), I dreamt of living abroad to learn languages and meet people. But at a time when the age of majority was 21, in my family, girls weren't as free as boys and unless they were real adventurers, they didn't travel around the world. So I had to make do with short stays in Europe to improve my language skills.
Currently, many young people are trying their luck in other countries. Some, with degrees, are recruited by head-hunters and are likely to have successful careers whereas others leave everything behind and go off on their own, living on the cheap and doing odd jobs. Both will benefit from their experiences and it will have an impact on their lives.
There are also those, and this is much less pleasing, who feel forced to abandon their families and their homeland for political or economic reasons. Will they succeed in finding peace and a better life away from all those they love? I wish they will with all my heart.
Réponse : Let's suggest/ 15 de here4u, postée le 12-06-2022 à 16:17:50 (S | E)
Hello dears!
CORRECTION DU FOLLOW UP d'Amalia et Max.
à eux ! EXPRESSION N°1:
Living here abroad was my childhood dream because for me, living abroad means meeting new people with a different culture, discovering their traditional music, their cuisine. Even discovering the way they receive foreigners at home is my happiness. I also wanted to live abroad to know people with whom I could exchange ideas to know how the world moves.TTB
It's true it was not easy for me to leave my native country, the warmth of the home and the friends who once cheered me up in my sorrows. B
Leaving all that behind what living in a foreign country means * has had a great importance for me because maybe my long-awaited dream has come true, here in this country(1).
Finally, having family and friends that we can meet at home and have fun with, makes us forget that we are foreigners.
Très bonne correction.
(1) j'ai enlevé "there" car, pour moi, le rêve est devenu réalité depuis ce changement de vie, et c'est toujours d'actualité. Et donc, pour moi "has come" true est le bon temps (tout comme : has had a great importance) : j'ai rajouté du contenu pour l'expliciter, en espérant ne pas trahir l'idée de l'auteur, évidemment... En tout cas, c'est comme cela que je comprends le texte.
* Après avoir pris connaissance des explications, je mettrais: ... and trying to realise the expectations and dreams I had in this foreign country... Je pense que cette phrase exprime les attentes que l'auteur avait mises dans le pays étranger et l'espoir qu'il avait, et a encore, de les atteindre ...
EXPRESSION N°2:
Like many young people, I would like to go and live in a foreign country. I like changing habits and environment, I also like learning about different customs. I would like to meet new people and get accustomed to new ways of life. However, going abroad has to be organised. My parents will never let me go far from them without teachers or chaperons. I’m still too young to be an au pair, what a pity! TTB
I like England and Italy: I’m trying to learn the language(s?). Italy is quite close to France, which(1) is convenient to go there frequently. By contrast(2) TB it has become less easy to go to England since England left Europe with the Brexit. Moreover, it often rains in England while it is very hot/ sunny in Italy; even Italian is full of sun! But of course, English is more useful than Italian. (138 words)
(1) est-ce que, avec la virgule ajoutée (que j'avais oubliée), which est bon ? OUI ! Cette virgule change tout !
ou alors which se rapporte-t-il obligatoirement au seul mot qui le précède et non pas à la proposition qui le précède ? C'est la virgule qui transforme l'antécédent de which! sans virgule, c'est le mot qui précède ; avec virgule, c'est toute la proposition qui reprend l'idée. Cette virgule change tout !
(2) est-ce que whereas ne convenait pas ici uniquement parce qu'il était placé en début de phrase ? "whereas" serait passé s'il avait été précédé d'une virgule ... La phrase, alors, aurait été très (trop) longue. L'option d'une nouvelle phrase était plus claire.
Effectivement, j'aurais voulu mettre une virgule à la place du point mais la phrase aurait été trop longue.
Bien senti ! Méfiez-vous des phrases trop longues qui "perdent" l'interlocuteur
EXPRESSION N°3:
Going abroad is a wonderful thing to learn a language (Je n'aime pas trop ... "a wonderful thing"?
/ an excellent means? the best way?/ ) or discover different cultures and different lifestyles.However, when it comes to leaving your country to live elsewhere for a long time, you need to have a definite project in mind: you have to think about what your future in this country will be and prepare yourself -and your family- for your departure and your arrival. OK!
Unfortunately, some people are forced to emigrate unwillingly (1), due to political reasons (the (2) war for example) or economic reasons (they can't find a job in their native land and they will probably never find one unless they try their luck elsewhere).
Well, I've always lived happily in France and never wanted to move abroad permanently. I just hope I will never have any bad reason to leave my homeland for good...
(1) j'ai changé mais je n'ai pas compris ce qui était maladroit. Ca me gêne ... c'est tout !
Je préférerais parler des raisons pour lesquelles on quitte son pays ... plutôt que "des gens qui sont forcés, contre leur gré ...". Je changerais la construction ... mais ça va ! (2) "the" est-il obligatoire ? moi, je mets soit "the", soit je passe à la généralité en mettant "wars"...
EXPRESSION N°4: (je suis reparti de la correction d'Amalia: Très bonne idée !
à tous les deux !)When I was young (in the sixties), I dreamt of living abroad to learn languages and meet people. But at a time when the age of majority was 21, in my family, girls weren't as free as boys and unless they were real adventurers, they didn't travel around the world. So I had to make do with short stays in Europe to improve my language skills. TB
Currently, many young people are trying their luck in other countries. Some, with degrees, are recruited by head-hunters and are likely to have successful careers whereas others leave everything behind and go off on their own, living on the cheap and doing odd jobs. Both will benefit from their experiences and it(j'expliciterais !) will have an impact on their lives.
There are also those, and this is much less pleasing, who feel forced to abandon their families and their homeland for political or economic reasons. Will they succeed in finding peace and a better life away from all those they love? I wish they will, with all my heart.❤️
Bravo et merci à tous pour ce gros et bon travail !
Réponse : Let's suggest/ 15 de maxwell, postée le 12-06-2022 à 20:09:09 (S | E)
beaucoup pour toutes ces explications ! C'est aussi ce qui rend cet exercice extrêmement utile ! Cours gratuits > Forum > Exercices du forum
