Toefl/correction 1
Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais : Questions sur l'anglais || En basToefl/correction 1
Message de louanna posté le 15-09-2020 à 08:03:09 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je souhaite passer le TOEFL le 10 octobre. Pour LISTENING et READING je suis au point mais j'ai beaucoup de difficultés pour WRITING et SPEAKING.
J'ai écrit 5 rédactions, si quelqu'un veut bien les corriger ou me donner des conseils je serai ravie. Merci beaucoup bonne journée.
EXPRESSION ECRITE LIBRE 1
The expression «Never, never give up» means to keep trying and never stop working for your goals. Do you agree or disagree with this statement ? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Never give up, this is doing everything in order to achieve a goal. But this isn’t only working hard. There are two other ways to never give up; not losing hope and stay determined.
To achieve a goal, sometimes you don’t have to work really hard, you can just not lose hope and be patient. For example, for someone who is sick, he has to accept his illness and wait for a remedy. In this case, the patient’s goal is to heal, but there isn’t any work to do for that, just waiting and all the work will be done by the hospital. The only way to fail this goal is suicide.
In effect, if he doesn’t suicide him, he’ll never give up.
There is a second way to never give up, this is to stay determined. There is no interest to work hard if there isn’t any motivation, the results will be bad. Working hard without motivation can bring you to a burnout. For my experience, I work hard my english everyday, sometimes this is difficult for me, it’s the end of school, I’m really tired I have to do my homeworks, I have to clean, I have to cook... I go to sleep late and I wake up early. But, I know my goal is to pass the TOEFL and being accepted to UNIGE university, so I find my motivation in this goal. Even when I don’t want to review my english I do my best because I have something that give me so much determination.
To sum up, never give up don’t have a unique signification but different ways to be done. It vary in function of the goal.
------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 15-09-2020 11:54
Un sujet à la fois car traiter 5 sujets en même temps est trop long et les corrections vont se mélanger.
Message de louanna posté le 15-09-2020 à 08:03:09 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je souhaite passer le TOEFL le 10 octobre. Pour LISTENING et READING je suis au point mais j'ai beaucoup de difficultés pour WRITING et SPEAKING.
J'ai écrit 5 rédactions, si quelqu'un veut bien les corriger ou me donner des conseils je serai ravie. Merci beaucoup bonne journée.
EXPRESSION ECRITE LIBRE 1
The expression «Never, never give up» means to keep trying and never stop working for your goals. Do you agree or disagree with this statement ? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Never give up, this is doing everything in order to achieve a goal. But this isn’t only working hard. There are two other ways to never give up; not losing hope and stay determined.
To achieve a goal, sometimes you don’t have to work really hard, you can just not lose hope and be patient. For example, for someone who is sick, he has to accept his illness and wait for a remedy. In this case, the patient’s goal is to heal, but there isn’t any work to do for that, just waiting and all the work will be done by the hospital. The only way to fail this goal is suicide.
In effect, if he doesn’t suicide him, he’ll never give up.
There is a second way to never give up, this is to stay determined. There is no interest to work hard if there isn’t any motivation, the results will be bad. Working hard without motivation can bring you to a burnout. For my experience, I work hard my english everyday, sometimes this is difficult for me, it’s the end of school, I’m really tired I have to do my homeworks, I have to clean, I have to cook... I go to sleep late and I wake up early. But, I know my goal is to pass the TOEFL and being accepted to UNIGE university, so I find my motivation in this goal. Even when I don’t want to review my english I do my best because I have something that give me so much determination.
To sum up, never give up don’t have a unique signification but different ways to be done. It vary in function of the goal.
------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 15-09-2020 11:54
Un sujet à la fois car traiter 5 sujets en même temps est trop long et les corrections vont se mélanger.
Réponse : Toefl/correction 1 de lucile83, postée le 16-09-2020 à 09:53:54 (S | E)
anyone?Réponse : Toefl/correction 1 de laure95, postée le 16-09-2020 à 10:42:18 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- But this (or it) isn’t only working hard.
- not losing hope (mettre à l'infinitif) and stay (remain) determined.
-all the work will be done by the hospital: mal dit.
- In effect: in fact.
- Working hard without (any)motivation can bring (lead)you to a burnout.
- For my experience: mal dit.
- I work hard (pas à la bonne place) my english (majuscule)everyday,
- my homeworks: mot invariable.
- I go to sleep: I go to bed.
- my English
- I have something (mal dit)that give (faute de conjugaison) me so much determination.
- never give up don’t (3è personne du singulier)have a unique signification
- It vary (faute de conjugaison) in function of the goal.
Réponse : Toefl/correction 1 de louanna, postée le 16-09-2020 à 15:28:14 (S | E)
D'accord merci beaucoup c'est super gentil de votre part.
Au niveau de la structure est ce que vous pensez que ma réponse convient à la structure attendue pour l'épreuve du TOEFL ?
Réponse : Toefl/correction 1 de sneaky13, postée le 19-09-2020 à 16:58:51 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Oui, je pense que vous appliquez tout à fait les conseils ci-dessous (et ce dans vos 5 essais)
"Structurez votre essai au brouillon avant de vous lancer dans la rédaction. Cette phase est cruciale pour optimiser la clarté et la structuration de vos essais. Notez par exemple les grandes idées, les sous-parties, le vocabulaire et les exemples que vous souhaitez utiliser. Ainsi, le correcteur appréciera l’organisation et l’équilibre de vos essais."
Toutefois faîtes attention à vos nombreuses fautes d'accord (qui vous élimineraient à coup sûr) et, certes il serait bon d'arriver à penser en anglais mais essayez de vous détacher un peu plus du français (musique, in effect).
------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 19-09-2020 18:48
Gris
Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais : Questions sur l'anglais
