Correction/logbook
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Message de asao posté le 13-09-2018 à 08:48:07 (S | E | F)
Bonjour !
Je dois écrire le journal de bord d'une personne vivant dans un endroit du monde sans technologie; c'est pour cela que j'aurais énormément besoin de votre aide pour me corriger, s'il vous plaît.
Merci d'avance !
11th may 2015,
Today was a day like another ; nothing really interesting. I woke up with/by the song of crickets, it meant a warm day, GREAT, isn’t it ? Very great. I immediatly thought that I have to eat very quickly the meat of my dear honey or it could be rotten.
Then, I ate a bowl of organic soup to start this new day ; I could conclude that my vegetables are still delicious. About vegetables, after my breakfast, I decided to cultivate my gorgeous garden composed of tomatoes, potatoes, courgettes, leeks, eggplants, cucumbers, pumpkins, squash, melons, watermelons. I need a lot of vitamins to be in good health.
1 hour after, I took my fishing rod to fish in the river because fishes are necessary for my nutrition and it is also an ingenious hook to trap a beer ; sometimes, I am wondering if I have a twisted mind but the answer is probably no. Certainly. Anyway, I got, mainly, salmons and trouts so a successful fishery in a way. Therefore, I took the opportunity to hunt a beer thanks to the fish trap. Their skin is really helpful to make new shoes and I am totally fed up with these plastics mocassins.
So, one fell into the trap in 20 or 25 minutes ; a child’s play. Immediatly after, I took a peek at my bees and I went into the yurt for the midday meal where I chose to finish the meat leftovers of my late honey, a wise decision with this insupportable heat.
During the afternoon, I spent my time to read books in the trees but before the sunset, I ran to take a lantern to catch a few fireflies. I have to do that without electricity even if it is really funny, I suppose that it is my favorite moment of the day.
Finally, that was a trivial day. My trivial day.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 13-09-2018 09:03
Message de asao posté le 13-09-2018 à 08:48:07 (S | E | F)
Bonjour !
Je dois écrire le journal de bord d'une personne vivant dans un endroit du monde sans technologie; c'est pour cela que j'aurais énormément besoin de votre aide pour me corriger, s'il vous plaît.
Merci d'avance !
11th may 2015,
Today was a day like another ; nothing really interesting. I woke up with/by the song of crickets, it meant a warm day, GREAT, isn’t it ? Very great. I immediatly thought that I have to eat very quickly the meat of my dear honey or it could be rotten.
Then, I ate a bowl of organic soup to start this new day ; I could conclude that my vegetables are still delicious. About vegetables, after my breakfast, I decided to cultivate my gorgeous garden composed of tomatoes, potatoes, courgettes, leeks, eggplants, cucumbers, pumpkins, squash, melons, watermelons. I need a lot of vitamins to be in good health.
1 hour after, I took my fishing rod to fish in the river because fishes are necessary for my nutrition and it is also an ingenious hook to trap a beer ; sometimes, I am wondering if I have a twisted mind but the answer is probably no. Certainly. Anyway, I got, mainly, salmons and trouts so a successful fishery in a way. Therefore, I took the opportunity to hunt a beer thanks to the fish trap. Their skin is really helpful to make new shoes and I am totally fed up with these plastics mocassins.
So, one fell into the trap in 20 or 25 minutes ; a child’s play. Immediatly after, I took a peek at my bees and I went into the yurt for the midday meal where I chose to finish the meat leftovers of my late honey, a wise decision with this insupportable heat.
During the afternoon, I spent my time to read books in the trees but before the sunset, I ran to take a lantern to catch a few fireflies. I have to do that without electricity even if it is really funny, I suppose that it is my favorite moment of the day.
Finally, that was a trivial day. My trivial day.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 13-09-2018 09:03
Réponse : Correction/logbook de laure95, postée le 13-09-2018 à 10:26:36 (S | E)
Bonjour,
11th may (majucule)2015,
- I woke up with/by (with pas by) the song of crickets,
- it meant a warm day, GREAT, isn’t (passé!) it ?
- I immediatly thought that I have (passé) to eat very quickly
- Then, I ate a bowl of organic soup to start this (that pas this)new day ;
- I could conclude that my vegetables are (passé) still delicious.
- sometimes, I am wondering (présent simple) if
- a wise decision with this (that pas this au passé)insupportable heat.
- I spent my time to read (mettre au gérondif) books in the trees
Réponse : Correction/logbook de asao, postée le 13-09-2018 à 19:43:46 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup !
J'obtiens ceci après correction, est-ce correct ?
11th May 2015,
Today was a day like another ; nothing really interesting. I woke up with the song of crickets, it meant a warm day, GREAT, wasn’t it ? Very great. I immediatly thought that I had to eat very quickly the meat of my dear honey or it could be rotten.
Then, I ate a bowl of organic soup to start that new day ; I could conclude that my vegetables were still delicious. About vegetables, after my breakfast, I decided to cultivate my gorgeous garden composed of tomatoes, potatoes, courgettes, leeks, eggplants, cucumbers, pumpkins, squash, melons, watermelons. I need a lot of vitamins to be in good health.
1 hour after, I took my fishing rod to fish in the river because fishes are necessary for my nutrition and it is also an ingenious hook to trap a beer ; sometimes, I wonder if I have a twisted mind but the answer is probably no. Certainly. Anyway, I got, mainly, salmons and trouts so a successful fishery in a way. Therefore, I took the opportunity to hunt a beer thanks to the fish trap. Their skin is really helpful to make new shoes and I am totally fed up with these plastics mocassins.
So, one fell into the trap in 20 or 25 minutes ; a child’s play. Immediatly after, I took a peek at my bees and I went into the yurt for the midday meal where I chose to finish the meat leftovers of my late honey, a wise decision with that insupportable heat.
During the afternoon, I spent my time to reading books in the trees but before the sunset, I ran to take a lantern to catch a few fireflies. I have to do that without electricity even if it is really funny, I suppose that it is my favorite moment of the day.
Finally, that was a trivial day. My trivial day.
Jack Jacson.
Réponse : Correction/logbook de laure95, postée le 14-09-2018 à 10:29:43 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- I immediatly thought that I had would have à la place de had)to eat very quickly the meat
- I could (was able to pas could)conclude that my vegetables were still delicious.
- About (concerning ou as for plutôt que about) vegetables,
- these plastics (les adjectifs sont invariables) mocassins.
- During the afternoon, I spent my time to (enlever to)reading books
Réponse : Correction/logbook de bluestar, postée le 14-09-2018 à 11:33:14 (S | E)
BONJOUR..
immediatly ~ orth, a verifier
~salmons and trouts ~ pas s au pluriel
A successful fishery ne se dit pas --- a days fishing va mieux (une pêcherie est un endroit où les poissons sont transformés pour le marché)
bear pas beer
insupportable - un faux ami
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